Oct 6, 2008

Junk Mail.

I have been trying not to ignore how many messages have been sitting in my junk mail box. "Mr Junk Mailbox I know all about you and let me tell you I am a good girl who has been warned of the likes of you." But I must confess sometimes when the number of the messages in my regular e-mail is consistently at 3 I cannot help but notice that my junk mail number is never below 10. Today it was at 19. I have a healthy fear of the junk mail box. I have heard the stories of what happened to everyone's friend Suzy who got a virus on her computer from that junk mail box and I have heard about Johnny who lost his whole life savings in his junk mailbox incident. I am very careful to NEVER click on anything in that junk mail box. But today I just LOOKED at it. Do you know all the answers are in my junk mail box? They have patiently been waiting there for me. Listen to all the treasures, temptations and promises that I discovered.

#1. I can work from home, job openings are available in my area.
What if it is an answer to my prayers?

#2.I have two e mails with "unread crush mail" in them.
The men of my dreams BOTH OF THEM are trying to send me crush mail and I am devastating them by ignoring them. I can only imagine how they must be admiring me from afar. I hope they know each other so they at least have someone to talk to about my flowing hair and deep brown eyes :)

#3.Cash4Gold wants to know if I want cash.
I DO. I wonder if they will want gold for it? Maybe I could get gold from the men who have a crush on me and sell it to the cash4gold guys?

#4.The people at PoliceLink scholarships want to know if I have ever thought of becoming a police officer.
Oh if only they knew how I adore power. Actually maybe they already know...I mean they sent me the e-mail?

#5. Someone named "admin" at viagra.com has sent me 5 messages all with a different and ever so special 6 digit number attached.
You will be happy to know this did not tempt me so much. Even though someone went to a lot of work to not duplicate that number to insure I would never doubt the meaningfulness and sincerity of the e-mail message just for me from my best friend "admin." What kind of parents name their child "admin?"

These people all want the best for me. They know how I love to see my name in bold print. Not just my first name my last name too. It makes me feel all warm and loved and almost like I should click on their e-mail. Don't worry I stopped just in time. But I will never forget they are all willing to do so much for me. And I do not want anyone to ever forget that I could get up to $1500.00 in one hour anytime I want to. I just choose not to :)

What if something really important actually goes to my junkmail box? Can I live with never knowing what I missed?


another day in the life of... said...

You are so strong and able. oh the willpower... :)

Anne Marie said...

I do occasionally find real e-mails in my junk mailbox. I find it so irritating when something real goes in there. But, it sounds like you haven't been missing anything.

Alyson said...

My mom clicks on those emails and you cannot imagine how warm and loved she feels.