Jan 15, 2009

At Home With The Incredible Hulk.

Well yesterday was a first in the Baird Family. I debated about telling you about this "first" but then I decided that if I do not share my struggles you may begin to think I have a perfect life :) And besides when you have your struggles I want you to know someone out there who totally understands what you are going through. A friend you can call to ask what to do. (not like I will know :) I want you to remember the exact moment when you read this post and you may even remember when you read it how you thought, "That will never happen to me, poor Jennifer."

So with that introduction I will tell you about yesterday.

Yesterday I was sitting here in the very spot I am right now just finishing up my blog about Joe and Miriam on the paper route and my cell phone rang. I did not recognize the number. And I rarely answer if I do not recognize the number but for some reason I answered and it was the vice principal from the middle school. It seems there was a problem. A problem involving Joe. You see he was walking into school with a friend and that friend was enjoying kicking the backpack of a kid in front of him. Well the kid whose backpack was getting kicked finally decided enough was enough and he turned around and decided Joe was the one kicking his backpack and shoved Joe into the wall and caused Joe to bump his head. Well Joe could be compared to the Incredible Hulk at times. Something will cause him to get angry and he will just lose control. Not something we are proud of but we are working on it and talking about it all the time at our little house :) It has been happening much less but clearly not less enough :) Anyhow the bump on the head caused Joe to decide to hit this kid. He hit him 3 or 4 times and then left and walked to his homeroom class. Well this kid went and told the principal. The principal gathered information and called me. He was very surprised at Joe. Yeah, me too. But he said there must be "consequences." And I said, "Of course." So Joe was suspended from school for two days.

I am not really sure what to do with a suspended child as I have never had one of those before. He is very sorry for the way he acted. He will never do it again. The hard part is all the other kids at school and church congratulating him, and giving him "high 5's" for being suspended. So we have talked about how this is not a congratulating kind of thing no matter what anyone says. Also, I am not the kind of mom to blame anyone but my kid when these things happen. I am not blind to the fact that my children make mistakes. I rarely stand up for them. Which may not be a good thing. Regardless of how it all came about to me it is without a doubt Joe's fault because no matter what anyone says or does to you you should be in control of you.

This suspension thing does not seem to be a very effective punishment. And that may be my fault. I have given him jobs. He has written his Christmas thank you cards. We have talked and talked about how we will deal with any situation like this in the future. He has worked on some scouting stuff and done all his homework. And he is very upset about missing school.

What if I could suspend my kids from home? Send them to school and tell the school to keep them for two days because they are not behaving at home? How would they like it? :) I wonder what the school is hoping the suspension will accomplish? Brian wants me to sit him at the kitchen table all day so he can pretend he is at school. Sadly, Brian is in Buffalo on a business trip so I will confess that Joe and I are bonding by watching the 4 th season of Lost together so that we can be ready for season 5 to begin next week. If it was the 2 nd time Joe had been suspended believe me things would be different. If He was not repentant believe me things would be different. So judge me if you must :)


My Many Coloured Days said...

You surprised me with this one. I thought your son would be the one beat up. At the same time, I'm surprised this is your first time to confront school suspension. I'm surprised you gave him jobs at all... I'm for bonding time all the way (just don't make him upset!)

I admit... I was suspended in 7th grade. I think I broke my parents' hearts.

Suspension makes no sense. But I suppose it's just a sort of school-age time out to your bedroom.


Zac-ShaunaFamily said...

I am enjoying reading your posts, it is bringing back our time spent visiting teaching and swimming with our swimming belts (I still have mine.) I so enjoyed those times to hear your stories. You are a fantastic writer, and mom. Glad to be in contact again. Once a year with your Christmas letter is not nearly enough.

Melissa said...

I think you handled it great- this parenting gig is hard! I like the idea of giving him jobs around the house...hmmm maybe I can get one of my kids suspended and make them clean the garage! :)

Kristy said...

Welcome to the club! Remember -- I have a child who was suspended from Kindergarten. He thought it was awesome. Glad you're getting caught up on Lost! :)