Dear kind, forgiving husband,
Remember how you like to watch TV? And remember how you have that very special room in the basement that we all call the "man room"? Oh how you love your "man room," with your TV in it, and your bookshelves full of books. Well you know how you love to eat snacks when you watch TV and how a couple of years ago when we lived in Indiana I used to SOMETIMES steal your chocolate from your "man room" stash? Remember that I often exhibited signs of having NO self control? I even blamed it on the children when you would declare something missing?
I remember taking matters into my own hands and deciding to buy you a tool box with a lock and a key for your birthday so that I could no longer have the freedom to choose for myself whether to steal from your candy or not. Anyhow, you know how you stopped locking it after awhile and how I stayed away from it for a SUPER DUPER long time?
Well you must understand you have been out of town a ton lately and I have been all alone with the 7 emotionally needy children :) So yesterday I just took a small peak into your carefully guarded tool box "full o treats." I was not interested in the cheese Pringles so I left those. You had not opened the peanut butter M&M's and the Kit Kat's so I knew I had no chance with those. But in the bottom there were some Dove "thingy's" and some Hershey Nugget "thingys" that were open and they were sad. They have been in the tool "box o treats" for several weeks since you have been gone. I know you have OCD and that if I wake you up in the middle of the night and the house is on fire you will be able to rattle off exactly what is in the treat box so I am confessing that I ate "several" of the toffee/chocolate Nuggets and 3 of the Dove "thingys" and I may eat a few more today before you get home from Washington DC.
It may be time to find that little old lock I gave you with the tool box :)
Your wife :)