Have you ever had too much on your mind, or does that just happen to people who can admit to over thinking? I have SO many things swirling around in my brain lately that I can not even focus on one simple blog post. I can barely even manage conversation which is very unusual for me.
My first bothersome thought is that right now all the ingredients and mess of Brian's Birthday Blonde Brownies are sitting on my counter. The brownies are mixed and half spread on the jelly roll pan, and the oven is on but I just left them sitting there and came to blog.....WHY? Because I think for the first time in my life something is wrong with my flour and it is consuming my every thought. It started three weeks ago when I was going through my food storage and discovered 6 #10 cans of flour with a date that makes me cringe.....1999. I pulled them out and I thought maybe it was looking a little different as I poured the flour into my flour container but really did not know how to tell if it was my imagination or not so I just ignored the thoughts. Then one Sunday I made my famous rolls for our company and they did not turn out at all. First time in the 4 years that I have been making them that they completely and totally bombed. Brian assured me that it was the yeast but I had my doubts. I confess I have been avoiding the flour ever since the fated "roll" incident. I am afraid of it. I am afraid because I think I am going to have to waste 5 and 3/4 of #10 cans of our flour because today my fears were confirmed, the blonde brownies do not look "right."
The second thing on my mind is the hugest pile of clean laundry you ever saw laying on the floor of Tatiana and Natalie's, good sized, walk in closet. It should not be there. I have never had that happen before. Clothes in laundry baskets...yes, that does happen. But clean clothes just outright, blatantly laying on the floor and getting walked on.....definitely not ordinary for our house.
The third thing taking up space in my mind is 4 short sleeve white shirts, 3 long sleeve white shirts, a battery powered carbon monoxide detector, 2 flat sheets, a trench coat, and 2 pairs of shoes, this is my list of all that is left to get for Zach's mission.
The fourth thing on my mind is a red dress. Amanda needs to have a red dress by April 25 and we spent all day Saturday going to every store on this planet. Did you know red is not a spring color? Did you know that a red dress in size 1 unfortunately involves spaghetti straps and showing a lot of skin? And did you know we have exactly $20.00 to spend on it? :) Is it weird to pray for a red dress? :)
The fifth thing on my mind is writing thank you notes. I have a list of a million thank you notes I need to write. I may have to resort to "Facebook thank yous." And that is not good.
The sixth thing occupying space in Mr. Brain is trying to figure out how to help my child that has some "Eeyore tendencies" to realize the benefits of being grateful. She never seems to be happy and I really worry about that.
The seventh thing occupying the brain is food storage. Clearly I need flour.
The eighth thing occupying the brain is where to get my hands on some money? Should I try to get a job and leave the kids to fend for themselves this summer? Can I even get a job? How can you be 40 and not even know what you are good at?
The ninth thing on my mind is all my dear friends birthdays that are coming and going that I wanted to get gifts for but due to the issues mentioned in the previous numbers 8, 7, 4 and 3 I can't. And it kills me. I love to buy birthday gifts for friends.
And I won't go past 10 because if you have not already stopped reading you will soon. But my brain has never been so burdened with things I can not solve with just making a list or eating some chocolate..............
Primary activity, Seminary lessons to plan, practicing the organ, piano lessons, exercising, things to file, touch up painting to do, garden, raking, cleaning the house, Easter egg hunt at my house on Saturday for 60, track meets, finding the car insurance phone number so I can take Zach off the plan for the next two years, lacrosse practice, husband out of town, book club books to read, getting times of when kids need to be places for activities, finding just plain old jelly beans.
Sometimes I briefly wonder if anyone realizes how difficult it is to organize this mess I have willingly gotten myself into and how much I appreciate having information early enough to help me figure it all out. I mean we are talking about a serious "spreadsheet situation" my friends.
I know you will be sorely tempted to give me advice. But really how can you give advice to someone who refuses to give anything in her life up and won't tell anyone the truth if they ask? :) So definitely do not feel sorry for me and marvel at how I can do it all because honestly I must tell you that I am not visiting teaching, I am thinking seriously of begging to get out of a recent assignment from the awesome bishop of my ward :), and I am off to throw flour away. :)