Aug 31, 2009

A Letter.


Dear Teachers of all the Baird Children,

Well here it is the evening of the first day of school I am sitting at my kitchen table surrounded by papers of every color from every school in this town. I have my favorite pen and thankfully I have practiced for this day. It started when I was about 8 and discovered a fascination for perfect penmanship. Lucky for us all I practiced and practiced and practiced my signature. And it has come in handy for two things...buying a house and signing all the papers from school. SO please note my fabulous signature :) I am also using my fine handwriting skills to make a list of everything you need to make your school year with my child perfect in every way. Hand sanitizer, (which I confess I am not a believer in) kleenex, (I believe) 3 ring binders, paper, pencils, and oh so much more. While I was making my list of all your needs I wondered what would happen if I sent you a list at the beginning of each school year of what I needed? You know things I need to make things go smoothly here at home while you are educating my child.

So here is my list of what I need....by tomorrow:

New pants,cardigan sweater and button up shirt from Ann Taylor Loft
(so I can look good for conferences :) One bottle of Pantene ProV Restoratives Frizz Control Ultra Smoothing Balm...no generics please
( we do not want any Baird children having meltdowns at school because their mom has frizz do we?)
A gift card to Panera Bread
So I can eat my favorite Caesar Salad everyday thus having energy to get those Baird kids to bed on time so they behave at school
A bag of Reeses
A happy mom makes happy children
Some cute stickers
For my exercise chart at home
Some sharpies
I confess I love the way they smell...... oh, and of course I need them to write you notes.
Four bottles of Elmers Glue
So that I can return it to you unused at the end of the year
Rubber Cement
Just because I want you to wonder all year what I need it for.

Many thanks for all you do to make my school year fabulous. And please do not forget to sign this and return it to me tomorrow so I do not have to write your name on the chalkboard in the kitchen :)

Aug 30, 2009

To Do Before I Die....Preferably Sooner Than Later..

Do you have a list of things you have always wanted to do? I do. I have to confess I have only had this list for a few years. It was the strangest thing when a couple of years ago I all of a sudden had the realization that anything was possible. Why I did not realize that when I was 18 I do not know. But it is an amazing feeling when you realize you have the power to make anything happen. The down part of this realization has been that I may occasionally find myself not so tolerant of people who make lots of excuses for why they can not do something. I have always been and always will be a "can do" kind of person. I definitely do not want to add any more "wish I would haves" to my list. That "wish I would have" list is going to forever haunt me as it is. So I am trying my best to figure out how to make my list of things, "I think I need to do" happen.

So without any further chatting here is my list...in no particular order.

#1. See The Aurora Borealis.

The Aurora Borealis is one of the most beautiful natural phenomena this planet has to offer. Now the first thing I have to do to see it is get to Northern Finland, Scandinavia, Alaska, or Greenland. I think Alaska is the most do-able destination on this list which is absolutely fine with me since I have always wanted to go there anyway. The second thing I have to do is make sure I visit Alaska from October through March. The third thing I have to do is become extremely obsessed with tracking solar activity...this may be a little out of my comfort zone but maybe I can find a handsome guy to help me. Then once I figure out the whole solar activity thing I just need to make sure I am out in the country away from city lights somewhere in Alaska when there is a prediction of high solar activity. And then just like everything else in life I will have to wait. And once I finally see it it lasts 2 to 10 minutes. And then I can go back to my life. I have no doubt it is worth it.

#2. See A Space Shuttle Take Off.

Well most of you know I have a daughter who wants to become an astronaut so maybe this one will happen easily. But just in case that does not happen I do have a plan. The plan involves the state of Florida and getting to the NASA Causeway Site. After that I need to make sure that I choose a launch that has a long launch window. If you are coming from a long distance you want to make sure that you are going to get to see the launch so you should not choose a launch that has a 6 minute launch window try one that has a 2.5 hour window. Also I need to choose a launch that has a time in the morning and lastly I must choose a launch that will take off from launch pad A which is closest to the NASA Causeway giving me the best view. I also should get my launch pass early....two to three months before I go...I am very good at this part. I love to do things early. It makes me happy inside. There are several different launch passes. The average price for an adult is about $50.00. If for some reason I do not get a pass I could always go to the shore in Titusville, Florida apparently the view from there is not too shabby.


#3. Hike The Appalachian Trail

I am not sure how to accomplish hiking a 2,000 mile trail that starts at Springer Mt. in Northern Georgia and ends at Mt Kalahdin in central Maine and takes 6 months to hike. About 9,000 people have hiked the entire trail so it is possible. It is one of the more challenging things I think I have to do. This is one I definitely can not do alone....just in case of bears :) So if you are not afraid of bears, are as curious as I am about the Appalachian Trail and could be okay with missing church for 6 months from early Spring to Fall call me :)


#4. See A Killer Whale In The Wild

Basically to do this I need to go to the San Juan Islands in Washington state and take a whale watching boat, preferably a small one with not many people, and stay on it until I see the whales.

#5. See The Grand Canyon

Apparently this is on most peoples, "things to do before I die" lists so if it is on yours and you happen to like me and think you could travel with me I would love a friend....only one friend...I have discovered traveling with more than one person is not my most favorite thing in the world. There is just about every way imaginable to do the Grand Canyon...walking, mule, hiking, boating. My plan involves air. A helicopter or a airplane flying over the Colorado River hovering between 5,000 vertical feet of the canyon wall on both sides sounds very sweet and probably something I am going to have to save my pennies for. And after that I am a little curious about my hiking options, nothing to crazy, just something to give me a feel for hiking in Arizona and a feel for the canyon.

#6 Skinny Dipping

Okay I can not believe I am confessing to this. But I do want to try it before I die. Definitely after midnight and preferably in an warm body of water. When I was a kid I had a friend that had a swimming pool and a whole bunch of us girls were all hanging out and everyone decided to skinny dip....I chickened out and it has haunted me ever since :) It should not be too hard to accomplish....no clothes and water right? :)

#7 Learn How To Take A Compliment

Yes, taking a compliment does not come naturally to me. They make me extremely uncomfortable. And when someone pays me one I need to learn how to let them and how to enjoy it.

#8. See The Fireworks In Boston On The Fourth of July While Listening To The Boston Pops

Yes, I know it involves a WHOLE lot of people but aren't you just a little curious? Everyone I talk to about doing this has absolutely no interest. But the curiosity is killing me. Not one person has a "can do" attitude about this experience all they can talk about it crowds and impossibilities which makes me all the more determined to make it happen ....even if it is just me by my lonesome. And seeing as how I live 2 hours from Boston I should be able to make this happen.

#9. Drive Across The USA

I would love to do this with someone but that would have to be a very tolerant someone. I want to stop whenever I want to stop I want to have no deadlines. Which is odd for me I am such a deadline kind of girl.

#10 Learn How To Golf.

I am so curious about golfing and I do not want to always wonder if I have it in me. I am actually working on acquiring golf lessons right now. I am very excited about it and hope I end up liking it. If I don't then at least I will know that I tried.

#11 Attend A Winter Olympics.

I do not really care where. I just want to be able to be there from start to finish and see as many events as I can.

#12 Tell Someone The Whole Story of My Life Sparing No Details.

Yeah, I know can't you just hope and pray I choose you to do this one with me :) I think this would be amazingly liberating to tell someone everything.

Well my friends there are some more things on my list but I will save that for another post sometime. I better get to bed since school starts in the morning. And don't forget to start on your list and tell me about it.

Aug 28, 2009

Shopping ...With The 13 Year Old.


When you have five sisters it is very hard to make your shopping needs heard. Finally on August 28, 2009, three days before school started, I heard Joe and realized he needed some things. So hard to find time and to get out of the house with just one child when you have seven children. The weather was rainy tonight effectively ruining the other things I needed to do so Joe and Amanda and I headed out to shop. There are a few things that you have to know before you go shopping with a 13 year old boy.

The first thing is you must know how to make farting noises on your arm. Really loud long ones and it is of the utmost importance that you are not embarrassed when you make this noise. You must put your whole heart into it and walk along like doing it is the coolest thing in the world.

The second thing can only happen if it is raining outside. And that is the squeaky noise that wet shoes can make on the floor of JC Penney. You have to twist your foot in a small circle as you walk and do it until the wetness on the bottom of your shoes is gone. And just in case you are wondering it can make that noise all the way through JC Penney and just a few feet beyond the JC Penney entrance out into the mall it will stop.

The third thing is making small farting noises with just your mouth as you walk along. For no other reason than that you can.

Also, if you shop with a thirteen year old boy you need to be able to stand your ground when they want to go into Gamestop. I can do this. I am an expert.

The thing I like about shopping with the thirteen year old is that within 4 minutes he knew exactly what he wanted and there was no settling and no "hemming and hawing" he saw the Adidas Sambas and knew they were the shoes that would make all his dreams come true. So he indulged me and we went to every store in the mall and found the cheapest pair of Adidas Sambas we could. He paid for half of them and we were done. And I have never seen a child so happy about a pair of shoes.

He also knew exactly what kind of shorts he wanted. I love it when people tell me what they like. It makes my life so much easier because I know I can make them happy and I know I am not wasting money. Joe likes cargo shorts with any pattern on them except checks. And he likes any polo shirt.

The funny thing was that after he had made all the loud farting noises with his arm he turns to me and announces that he is embarrassed to be shopping with me. I said, "oh, really." I asked if I looked okay and he looked at me objectively and said, "yes" and I said, "Then why are you embarrassed of me?" Well he could not really answer me. But I am pretty sure I could tell you what embarrassed me about him...oh, yeah I already am :)

He took the picture of his new shoes for the blog and is at this very moment trying to decide which kind of socks he needs to wear with them...no show or ankle?

Evaluation.

Well it is almost the end of the gardening season. I am trying not to notice that my August garden is calling me some very bad names. And I deserve that name calling. I love March-June garden. It is so neat and pretty and loved. July always ruins everything. Company comes and camps happen and I have less time to devote to the garden. Although to be completely truthful the month long fight in June with the bugs and slugs really wore me down. If I had a dollar for every slug I pulled out of my garden this year I would be wearing a very nice new outfit from Ann Taylor.

I was laying in bed this morning thinking about my yard and how things went this year. What I am happy about, what I am sad about. Now don't you dare stop reading... this is a good tale with drama, violence, and lessons learned. I am thinking it may win a Newberry. :)

It started in March. Everyone says that is too early to start. But I am a very impatient person. And the minute the ground can be rototilled I am SO there. Everyone talks about me behind my back and I am happy to provide the conversation. This was the first year I really thought about my decision to plant early in New England. The things I put in the ground first are potatoes, peas, lettuce, beets and onions. I choose varieties that like cold and even prefer it. I think my potatoes did very well this year. I got a lot of Yukon Gold's and white potatoes. I wish I would have planted more Red Norlands and I will do that next year. Brian thinks the potatoes are his job and I have the whole winter to convince him that they are now my job.

The onions did not do well. Onions in all my other gardens in other states were not needy but onions in Massachusetts need something, I do not know what but I will not be bested by them. So I am going to have to find some stimulating reading on growing onions in New England for the winter. They just never get big.

Peas are my favorite part of the garden. I put all my hopes and dreams into the peas. This year I planted 6 rows of peas. They did pretty well. They all came up. They did not produce as much as I thought they should. Me and my expectations:) And some rows were really tall and some rows hardly grew. I think they needed better soil. For the first time in ALL my years my peas got a disease. All the rain in New England caused some problems this year. We got to eat peas but not near enough. I am thinking better soil will fix my problems with the peas.

My beans did great this year. I planted 9 rows. I planted them a little close so they were hard to pick so I will watch that next year. Every year I think I will not have enough room and I end up having plenty. SO I need to remember that. This year I decided to try not to waste so I froze my beans. I do not think we are a canned green bean kind of family but frozen I think we can do. So I blanched them and froze them. I am anxious to find out if they like them.

I love seeing a little seed become something. It is so rewarding that I always plant more than we need. Especially squash. This year I had 6 squash plants and that is way too many. I can not believe I am saying this but I think I will not plant squash and cucumbers next year. We just do not eat them as fast as they appear and then I waste and feel guilt.

The beets are just barely getting ready for me to pick. Same with the carrots. The pumpkins are still growing. I am curious to see how they work out.

I planted some tomato plants and some pepper plants all around the outside of the house to see how they do in different locations. The peppers are doing well. The drama of the year in the garden was blight which got to a lot of the tomatoes in New England. I was one of the ones that got it. And I am so glad that it was a large scale thing so that I did not have to wonder why me. All 24 of my tomato plants within 3 days were ruined. I was SO sad. I have had two horrible tomato years and it is starting to discourage me. Being a farmer is an emotional roller coaster. I need to figure out a really awesome plan for staking them and put some mulch down for them to lay on. I have never loved tomato cages and the last couple of years I have used wooden stakes but the plants get so heavy they just pull the stake right over.

One thing I tried this year that I have never tried before is planting flowers. That has been hugely successful. And very rewarding. I love going outside everyday and picking my own flowers. So I think I will add a lot more flowers next year.

So I learned a lot about slugs this year. And I learned about blight this year. And information is power so I am going to use that information to fight nature next year :) I also was able to get some horse manure this year which made me SO happy. Yes, horse manure makes me happy:)

So my biggest goal for next year is to have supremely happy soil.

Aug 27, 2009

Crane Beach



Last time we went to Crane Beach it was February. That is pretty much the only time I can get the husband on the beach. We had hats and mittens and coats on. We rescued a hurt seal. ( Have you read that blog?...look back in February 2007) And there was not a soul in the parking lot that holds 1300 cars. I have often wondered about what Crane Beach is like in the summer. But had yet to make it back there.....until today.

And today, my friends, I had a pretty close to perfect beach day. The sad part is there are so many factors that determine a good day at the beach you can rarely hope to duplicate it. But I will wear the same outfit I wore today next time I go just in case it happens to be a lucky outfit :)

Because of our paper routes, going to the beach can be complicated, but I think I have figured that out. We pick up the papers at 11:30 am...the minute they roll off the press, then we fold them while I am driving to the route then I drop kids everywhere with loads of papers to deliver and we all hurry. After the routes we picked up my, "going on an adventure" friend Jenn Dermody and her three kids then we picked up three of the Ackerman kids minus my other adventure friend, their mom Gail.

It was a 2 hour and 45 minute drive to Ipswich, Massachusetts where Crane Beach is located. Ipswich is up above Boston. I think I need to live in Ipswich. I love the name. I love to type it I love to say it. We arrived at the beach at 3:02pm. This I know because after three o'clock they only charge you half price to get on the beach....so you pay $7.50 instead of $15.00.

Now I know when you go the beach your goal is usually to get up and get there early. Well I must tell you there is actually something magical about arriving at the beach at 3:00 pm in the afternoon. The parking lot was definitely full. But I did not let that depress me. Crane Beach has lots of room. It is flat and wide and long. W easily found a spot to drop our armfuls of stuff and accommodate all 14 of us. Remember 3:00pm is the time that the, "early to the beach" people are getting ready to go.

The more I frequent the beach the more I become aware that there are certain things you need to make the beach enjoyable. I never knew about these things, I had to learn about them the hard way. Some people just have that innate sense that tells them what they need to make the beach perfect. I always thought it was just a towel. But I am learning that a chair...not just any chair but a certain type of chair that is low to the ground can make a person supremely happy at the beach. After all these years of longingly looking at these chairs I finally bought one a month ago for $13.00. And I love it. The next thing is food. You must have food, food that tastes good with sand in it.....so sandwiches, "sandaloupe", and "sandchips" and never ever forget a big box of fruit snacks from Costco. They have magical powers. Then if you throw in sand toys and water to drink you are set.

After we had been at the beach about 45 minutes the weather god's smiled on us. At first glance you would have thought they frowned on us but they were actually smiling. They rolled in some clouds and added about 50 drops of rain. Just enough to almost clear the beach of the pessimistic people. We decided we were not afraid of rain, we stuck it out and were rewarded....see, I told you fruit snacks were magical.

After the beach was clear of people the clouds rolled away. I have never been so content in my life. Baird children happily playing....well let me tell the truth...Joe has decided his favorite game at the beach is throw handfuls of wet sand at his sisters. I have recently read about 13 year old boys needing to throw wet sand so I have decided to ignore it :) Actually Miriam is bigger than Joe and she dealt with him splendidly leaving me completely out of the picture. I told you...magical fruit snacks..you must get yourself some.

Now where was I? Oh yes, I was sitting in my pink beach chair with my feet in the finest sand I have ever felt. My kids are happy. The fruit snacks are handy. The air is not too hot, not to cool, it is just right. All around me is beautiful, gorgeous, fantastic world. I mentioned to my adventure friend Jenn that the only thing lacking was a thoughtful and handsome member of the opposite sex who could hardly wait to BBQ a steak for me and spend hours talking to me. ( the magical fruit snacks strangely let me down in this wish) I had no need to rush home. I could have stayed there forever. But the trustees of the beach felt like we should leave when the sun had set so they herded us off the beach at 7:45pm.

Yes, going to the beach is lugging a lot of stuff. Yes, going to the beach means you acquire sand. Yes, going to the beach means arriving home at 11:30 at night. But I will continue to do it because nothing beats the sound of waves. And because strangely all kids really need is sand and water to make their dreams come true.

Crane Beach will definitely let you down if you need huge waves. But that is the only con that I can think of. The water was 65 degrees today and the kids all got in and had a great time. I found out about Crane Beach when I "googled" top ten beaches in Massachusetts and it was on the list.

Aug 25, 2009

Missing

Do you remember the first time you missed? Was it something you lost? Was it someone? Was it a party? I have been thinking about missing. I really hate missing. I hate missing so much that when I was little, okay, and when I was big, I was always the last person in bed ....just in case I missed something.

If you fail to hit something that is missing.
If you fail to encounter, catch, or meet something that is also missing
Don't forget failing to take advantage of something...that is also missing...one of the more painful types....the kind that enjoys haunting you.
If you fail to be present at or for something, guess what? You are missing.
What about noticing the absence or loss of something? Yep, that is missing.
Did you know that regretting the loss or absence of something is also called missing...that is the one that is most painful...the one I seem to be most familiar with.

Why does missing actually hurt? No one punched or pinched me but I can still feel missing. I feel it when I hear certain music. I feel it when I see certain things. I sometimes can not predict what will cause it to wash over me. It loves to catch me unaware.

I feel like a silly high school girl writing all about missing but it has been on my mind. I have been very familiar with missing lately. I do not know how to make missing go away. I am the kind of person who loves to have associations with things, people and experiences and that makes me one of missing's most favorite kind of person.

My latest missing is very painful. It is my own doing which is rarely the case. Who me actually invite missing over for a play date? Yeah, what was I thinking?

I still miss the oriental carpet my husband "accidentally" gave away when we moved from Princeton to Lawrence.

I still miss my 100lb self.

I miss my 2 kids that are out in the big wide world.

I miss my dearest friends scattered across the United States who all knew me so well. It is hard to find a good friend who loves you no matter what you do.

I miss that I missed opportunities to get to know some people better and be a part of their lives.

I miss going to my Grandma's cabin in Christmas Meadows up in the Uintas.

I miss Survivor night at Kristy's.

I miss my confidence. I really did have it when I was 10.

Well, I guess you get the picture. So I better go face my day before I miss it too :)

Today.

Well I have a lot on my mind today. I have noticed lately that when this happens that is when I feel like blogging. So I guess that if you enjoy my blog you should pray for my mind to be brimming to the top with lots of thoughts 24/7 and then voila you will get a post. Maybe you could even sabotage me by suggesting thoughts :)

So let me tell you about my day.

Madeline left for BYU this morning at 5:15 am with three very large, stuffed suitcases. Because Brian flies so much two of her suitcases could get on the plane without being weighed which was an enormous blessing. By the time she had arrived at the airport she had already texted me twice with things she had forgotten and then once in the airport she realized she had left her hair straightener in her fathers car in the airport parking lot. And there is no way any dad who broke his watch lugging your suitcases is going back for a straightener. So hopefully she can borrow one until her dad gets back from Utah on Friday and I can mail it to her.

Joe had to be at the golf course at 9 this morning. He usually loves work and gets right up and gets ready and goes without a complaint but today he really did not want to go. Today was a tournament for kids. The minute I picked him up from work yesterday he could talk about nothing else than how much he did not want to do this. I asked lots of questions because that is what I do. And I discovered a couple things. He seemed worried about not having the "right" golfing equipment. The other kids who play in these tournaments have golf shoes, golf bags, their own clubs and visors. He felt like he stood out from a mile away. He also would like to be able to golf better. He was worried about embarrassing himself. I felt his pain. I really did. But there was no way he was not going to be where he was expected to be. When we drove to the club and I got out of the car with him and I saw all the adorable little golf bags and stylish golf shoes I felt his pain....intensely. I even noticed the mom's sizing me up...thank goodness I did not have my usual, before 9 in the morning, attire of sweats on :) These kids know each other and golf together and Joe does not know anyone. But I cheerfully patted him on the back and said, "See you at 3" and left. When I got in the car I said a little prayer that he would not be too humiliated and be able to find something positive in the experience. It is so hard to have kids that are so self conscious. All the Baird children except Madeline have had to be encouraged into their pursuits. They always love it once they are there but it takes a lot of work to get to that moment. How many times a week do you not want to do something and have to force yourself to do it? Yeah, I though so :)

When I came home I knew the dreaded moment had come. It was time to rearrange rooms since child number 2 had only been out of the house for 4 hours :) So I spent the next couple of hours moving furniture, sorting clothes, vacuuming and figuring out how to throw things away without "them" seeing. Can I just tell you how I have mastered the innocent stare when they ask if I threw something away? :) I love to organize and it felt good. There are 7 boxes of Madeline's stuff at the top of the stairs waiting for me to decide if I am woman enough to carry them down two flights of stairs. And I took 4 bags to the Goodwill. I have to say that I am a little bit proud of the fact that the Goodwill items did not go to a holding area of any kind they went straight to the car and straight to the Goodwill. There, now was that so hard? :)

It was good I had a lot of work to do today it really helps to be busy when you have things on your mind that could consume you if you let them.

Aug 24, 2009

Can't Sleep.

Well what is a girl to do when it is 5:39 in the morning and she can't sleep? Well first she tries making lists. This not being able to sleep thing does not happen very much to her so she is never sure what to do. The list thing did not really work. So she tried starting a load of laundry and cleaning out the church bag. Hmmmm what about hanging up her clothes? Nope, still can't sleep. So I decided to blog.

Madeline leaves for BYU on Tuesday and my mind is racing. I have yet to have the privilege of actually taking my kids to BYU and checking them in. And I confess it is harder for me than I would ever let on. I am a visual person. I want to see their room. I want to see their roomates. I want to see their salt and pepper shakers sitting on the counter in their kitchen. Because I have no visual I do not even know if I am sending her with everything she needs....and yes, that bothers me a little.

Madeline is not a talker...well let me rephrase that she is not an oversharing type like me. The only reason I know much about her life is because I live with her. In two days I won't even be living with her. How will I know if she is okay? I was searching my mind this morning when I was laying in bed not able to sleep. Did I share everything that went on in college with my mom? Ummm NO. Now is the test. Did I raise her well? What kind of person do I hope she will be in college? What advice do I need to remember to give her?

I will never ever forget when my parents dropped me at BYU. I lived in Washington State so it was realistic for them to drive me to Utah. It is not realistic for us to drive to Utah from Massachusetts. My two little brothers came along. I do not remember the packing process. I know I always made lists of what clothes I had and what matched. I know my parents bought me the hugest bottle of shampoo in the world. After we unloaded all my stuff I remember walking around campus with them. They were so excited to be there and were reminiscing and my little brothers were embarrassing me. I was so ready for them to go home. And then the moment came when they finally left me in my dorm room all by myself. I remember sitting there waiting for the fun to begin. But no one was appearing at my door? I felt a brief moment of feeling sorry for myself. But then that was then I realized the best life lesson I ever learned. I can't sit around waiting for other people to be responsible for my fun and happiness I have to take charge. So I headed down the hallway on the second floor of May Hall in Helaman Halls knocking on doors and meeting everyone.

Have I taught Madeline how to be a good friend? Have I taught her how to think about other people? Strange that I do not care what kind of grades she gets I just care about if she is a nice person and if she has friends. I think I may be confused :)

I have 4 lists right now. One is the list of things she and her dad have to do on BYU campus:
Pick up her computer....did you know you can rent one for $12.00 a month?
Get her books
Set up a bank account
grocery shop
move in
Pick up the kitchen stuff that Zach left her at Aunt Claudia's house

The next list is of what she eats so that she remembers what to buy at the store: (it is amazing what you take for granted that you always have in the house but strangely do not have when you get to college.)
Eggos
syrup
margarine
pasta
honey nut cheerios
bread
peanut butter
jam
milk

Ahh the college days when you could eat so horribly :)

What do I wish I would have known when I was at college? Well how my life was going to turn out...duh:) I wish I would have had confidence. I wish I would have realized how many options there were out there. It was such an amazing time. I wish I could go back just for a day. Just to see what I acted like. What I looked like to other people. Just to look at people I have not seen in over 20 years. To use all my grown up knowledge to observe them :)

So wish me luck as I have one day left to make sure Madeline knows how to do laundry, fix a meal, iron, be nice, be able to recognize the right boy when he comes along, go to church...sigh....silly me.

Aug 4, 2009

Don't Be Sad.

Well just in case you found my blog and just in case you noticed I have not blogged since June 18th. And just in case you are one of my few devoted fans who keep asking when I am going to blog again I thought I would write a small explanation about my disappearance from my faithful, daily blogging :)

I started blogging in February of 2007. At the time it was fulfilling a very important need for me. I blogged clear until June 18th, 2009. I discovered through this time that I loved writing. But sadly there came a time when I realized that the things I wanted to write about were not things I could really blog about for the whole world to see. :)

I am hoping I start writing again. But until that time if you have happened across my blog and are sad that I have not recently posted don't be sad I DO have 307 posts that are patiently waiting for you to read them. All sorts of fun things... trips we took, gardening fiasco's and successes, rescuing a seal on the beach, books I read, plenty of reading to entertain you. If you miss me you can always friend me on Facebook I do try to post an entertaining status everyday:)