Aug 31, 2009
Dear Teachers of all the Baird Children,
Well here it is the evening of the first day of school I am sitting at my kitchen table surrounded by papers of every color from every school in this town. I have my favorite pen and thankfully I have practiced for this day. It started when I was about 8 and discovered a fascination for perfect penmanship. Lucky for us all I practiced and practiced and practiced my signature. And it has come in handy for two things...buying a house and signing all the papers from school. SO please note my fabulous signature :) I am also using my fine handwriting skills to make a list of everything you need to make your school year with my child perfect in every way. Hand sanitizer, (which I confess I am not a believer in) kleenex, (I believe) 3 ring binders, paper, pencils, and oh so much more. While I was making my list of all your needs I wondered what would happen if I sent you a list at the beginning of each school year of what I needed? You know things I need to make things go smoothly here at home while you are educating my child.
So here is my list of what I need....by tomorrow:
New pants,cardigan sweater and button up shirt from Ann Taylor Loft
(so I can look good for conferences :) One bottle of Pantene ProV Restoratives Frizz Control Ultra Smoothing Balm...no generics please
( we do not want any Baird children having meltdowns at school because their mom has frizz do we?)
A gift card to Panera Bread
So I can eat my favorite Caesar Salad everyday thus having energy to get those Baird kids to bed on time so they behave at school
A bag of Reeses
A happy mom makes happy children
Some cute stickers
For my exercise chart at home
I confess I love the way they smell...... oh, and of course I need them to write you notes.
Four bottles of Elmers Glue
So that I can return it to you unused at the end of the year
Just because I want you to wonder all year what I need it for.
Many thanks for all you do to make my school year fabulous. And please do not forget to sign this and return it to me tomorrow so I do not have to write your name on the chalkboard in the kitchen :)