Sep 8, 2009

I Don't Care.

"There once was a boy named Pierre who only would say I don't care read his story my friend for you'll find at the end that a suitable moral lies there."

Have you ever read the book called Pierre by Maurice Sendak? It is, "A Cautionary Tale in Five chapters and a prologue." I grew up with this book and I remember as a child being shocked and also incredibly fascinated by Pierre's ability to say, "I don't care" to everything. How could he do that? I mean his parents want to take him to town and he does not care? I would most definitely care about that. His mother tells him that he is her only joy and he still replies, "I don't care?" Then to top it all off he does not even care when that hungry lion declares he is going to eat him? I have the book memorized and even at the age of 40 it still shocks me that someone could not care about things the way Pierre did. But as in ALL of life this story has a happy ending and Pierre decides after being in that lion's disgusting belly for just a short while that maybe caring is important. I wonder if Pierre is happier now that he cares? I wonder how hard it would be to get a lion to swallow some Baird children who have a few things they do not particularly care about?

The reason I was thinking about caring is that the other day, for the first time in my life, something happened to me and in a split second, without even knowing what hit me I realized that I really did not care about what had just happened. It was such a liberating feeling that I started to think that maybe I need to start NOT caring more often. The only glitch is that I think you can not make yourself not care about something without, "lying like a big dog." I have a small fear that what you care about may possibly be deeply part of you...... a result of all your years and experiences something you can not just dismiss with a Jedi mind trick.

Which means I am stuck caring about if you all like me for the rest of my life.

JOY :) Do not tell me that you do not care if people do not like you

I am also going to have to learn to embrace the fact that I care if you are supremely happy.
(that is good news for you and you should be able to tolerate me trying to make you happy, right?)

I also seem to care a lot about disappointing you...
wow, all the things I care about, that occasionally make my life tough, actually work out to be great deals for you huh? :) I never thought about it that way. :)

I also will have to break the news to my family that I will always care about being on time.

And I hope the hubby can deal with me caring about the edges of the yard being weed whacked immediately after mowing.

Guess what I don't care about?

the cat
folding socks
where I sleep ( I am comfortable anywhere)
brussel sprouts

See, there are thing I don't care about...I am well on my way to getting eaten by a lion just like Pierre :)

No comments: