Oct 23, 2009

Are You Ignoring? :)

Ignore: To refuse to pay attention to; disregard.
To refrain from noticing or recognizing.

Have you ever been ignored?
Have you ever ignored someone?
What makes you chose to ignore someone?

Ignoring has always seemed like a last resort to me. I am sure it would not surprise you to know that I have never ignored someone....wait, I am thinking...I want to make sure I am telling you the truth....yea, I can't think of anyone I have ignored intentionally. But people do not irritate me very much. I usually want most of them in my life.

I have been ignored a few times in my life (three to be exact) and I think it is the most painful thing in the world to not be acknowledged. Especially when I think I am a reasonable person and very capable of resolving anything without the pain ignoring causes. If I frustrate you, or you don't want to hear from me anymore I can't imagine if you told me that that I would not respect your wishes. I just want closure, and if it comes in the form of someone telling me that they no longer want to hear from me I can handle that much more than being ignored. It is something tangible to deal with. And trust me over thinkers do much better with the tangible. Do you want me imagining that you are ignoring me because you love me deeply? :) Yea, I didn't think so :) HAHA

I confess, if you ignore me without telling me why it does present a small challenge to me and I will try to get you to talk to me :)

Everything I read about ignoring said it should always be a last resort because it is immature and causes another person a lot of pain. Are the people who ignore other people the kind of people who have never been ignored and do not know how it feels?

One article I read said that there were three bad reasons why people ignore. One of the reasons was that you are a source of embarrassment, you make them look bad. So I wonder why can't you just say, " I do not know why, but you embarrass me a little?" Am I thinking of it too simply? Isn't there a nice way to say everything? The other reason this article said that people ignore you is because you are a source of sadness, anger or pain to them. Again, why can't you at least explain that before you begin the "ignore process" so that that poor person is not left wondering for the rest of their life what happened? Doesn't ignoring cause misunderstanding? I would rather I had the chance to explain to someone how they made me feel rather than leaving them to wonder and dream up something on their own that may not be right. The last reason people may ignore you is because frankly you are just not worth their time. Yea, you guessed it, I would rather you just tell me that so I can deal with it and get over it.

There are also good reasons why people ignore. Things like they are too shy. Or they don't know what to say. But the bad reasons often crowd out the good reasons making it hard for the "good reason ignore-rs" to get a fair break.

Have you ever read The Great Brain books? They are great books about a boy and his brothers who live in Utah in the 1800's. The stories are all about their growing up years. My family loves the Great Brain books and we have listened to them on tape on many a cross country road trip. In the books if the boys misbehave their punishment is the silent treatment from their parents.....and not just for a few hours, sometimes for a week. It always pains me when we come to that part in the books. One of the boys even tells about how it was the most painful thing ever to be ignored.

I love words. And I can't imagine that there is nothing that words can't solve. Now I have never been stalked so maybe I would change my idea on ignoring if I ever am stalked :)

Ignoring, to me, says to someone else that they are not worth anything and I have never felt like sending someone that message. But maybe I have lived a charmed life and some how avoided coming in contact with all the "riffraff" that is out there. But because this is how I feel about ignoring the three times I have been ignored have been very difficult times in my life because I consider it the worst thing you could ever do to someone. And I feel horrible to think I have driven someone to that point where they honestly thought they had no other choice :)


CJ said...

What about ignoring friends requests on FaceBook?

Kristy said...

I am ignoring someone right now. He deserves to be ignored. But I would never, ever ignore Jennifer Baird.

Juli said...

I knew there was a reason I liked you. My sentiments exactly. Unfortunately, not everyone is as comfortable with words so they don't know how to express themselves. Although, I do think actions speak louder than words and therefore if they are ignoring you that says a lot.