Oct 15, 2009
Do You Want To Pick On Her Too?
So today was, "run errand" day. At about 1:30 pm I was on my way home I received a text from my daughter number two who is a senior at the high school. She wanted me to come get her. I looked at the time and knew that school got out at 1:59 pm. I thought for a very short minute about my car that was very full of groceries and how I did not want to unload it all and I decided to pick her up early so I could score myself some slave labor. I had to hurry because getting stuck in high school traffic is a very soul searching experience. She was waiting out front for me and when she got in the car this is what she said to me, "Mom, you know those movies where there is that kid that always gets picked on at school and everyone is mean to them? I replied, "Yeah I know what you are talking about." She said, "that's me." Awwww it just broke my heart. Miriam has really been struggling. I know I am her mom but she really is a nice kid. Her intentions are always good. She had one friend when we first moved here who was a boy, and for reasons unbeknownst to Miriam, it went awry and it has left her with nothing....he took everyone with him. It has been the cause of many tears. It seems like your senior year should be a good year. Are people really still being mean to others when they are seniors? Yea, I know people are still being mean when they are grownups.....real bummer.
So today she was walking up the stairs at school and another Senior boy who she does not even know sprayed water all over the back of her pants so that it looked like she wet her pants and he ran away laughing. Then in one of her classes you had to have a partner review your paper and sign it and no one would review hers for her so she had to beg someone to just simply sign it. I promise I would never do it but I feel like going to school and telling everyone what is what. I just don't get mean people. I can tell you the times I have been mean in my life.
There was Janice in 3rd grade and everyone picked on Janice because she picked her eyelashes and ate them. I feel horrible that I participated in the chasing of Janice on the playground. The squeal she made mesmerized me. I have often felt horrible about this moment in my life and I have often wondered if Janice turned out okay.
There was a grown up lady in one of my wards that just pushed me too far and I shocked myself by fighting back for the first time in my life. I felt mean and within a split second realized it and burst into tears and cried for a very long time.
And there was a girl who I was not mean too I just ignored her and that was not nice at all....so the opposite of not nice is probably.....mean.
Really I think one of my only talents is that I am a nice person. Please feel free to comment if you do not think that is the case...at least then I will get some comments :)
Miriam, daughter number 2, is graduating early in January for this reason. But her decision to do this, as does every life decision, has created a whole another set of problems. Nothing seems clear about what she should do when she graduates.
She officially graduates the end of January which makes it so she can not get into any Mormon church school for winter semester. So she will work at her dad's work for the time being. She and Joe are planning a trip to Hawaii to visit my parents in February during winter break and past those three facts everything is wide open. BYU Hawaii? BYU Idaho? Southern Virginia University? She wants to be different from her two older siblings. She wants to be able to room with her dear friend Nichole who will be at BYU Idaho already. But if she does that she would have to wait a whole year.
I really don't want her to hang around Massachusetts. I have that "mom feeling" that college is just what Miriam needs to help her feel better for awhile. But how it is all going to work out is on my mind a lot. I keep brainstorming with her but the ultimate decisions are hers.
The picture at the top is Miriam and Joe. Doesn't she look harmless? High school was not tough for me. I was ready to go when it was time but I was not dying to go. I had friends. If I was teased I have this small talent for making it into a joke. I feel lost at what advice I should give my three oldest who did not have the high school experience I had. I wish I could make those kids at school see how they make her feel but I can't. It would be so sweet if just once I could tell my kids that they could have control over other people but they can't...not even once.