Oct 27, 2009

I Love You?

"What's love got to do, got to do with it? What's love but a secondhand emotion?" Did I sound just like Tina Turner when I sang that? Yea, I know my voice is a more classical voice...sigh. But I do feel like blogging about love today. So if you already know what it is and have it all figured out then....well....lucky you....you can totally take a break from my rambling thoughts today:)

I have kids in college. Kids that really technically could get married. Do they understand what love is? Will they recognize love when it is in front of them? What should I tell them about it? I guess the first thing I need to do is figure out what it is for myself, huh?

I am not very free with the word love. I grew up in a very stable home with parents I knew loved me and siblings that I knew did not love me :) so I am not really sure why love makes me uncomfortable. But it does. I definitely never say it first and I am definitely not a "lovey" type person. Thank goodness that my best friend google said that, "What is love, is one of the most difficult questions for mankind" that made me feel better, I thought it was just me.

My favorite definition of love is , "to be delighted by the happiness of another." Have you ever been delighted before? Have you ever made someone feel delighted? I love the word delighted. It means, "highly pleased." But even better than the definition of delighted is the synonyms: captivated, enchanted, enraptured and ecstatic. Have you ever felt that way about someone else's happiness? Has anyone ever made you feel that way? What about distress or disappointment? Those are the antonyms of delighted...they don't sound as great or fun do they?

Everyone is always talking about different kinds of love and how everyone shows their love differently and insisting that you need to figure out everyone's love language?....Really? Do I have to? I can just see myself flipping through my little black book before I meet you for lunch, double checking, to be sure that I do not forget which love language you speak and to remind myself if I show my love to you by buying your lunch or letting you buy it? While we are talking about different kinds of love I must say that I have a lot of impersonal loves....that is when you say things like:

I love asparagus
I love apricots
I love hiking
I love traveling
I love lists
I love music
I love reading
I love the color red
I love asking questions
I love wearing dresses
Look at how good I am at impersonal love :)

But interpersonal love? That is love between humans, not to be confused with your love for asparagus :) Although it is much easier for me to declare my love to asparagus :) Did you know that most people fall in love 8 times before they actually get married? You can apparently love a lot of people for a lot of different reasons. And not only that do not get me started on all the different kinds of love out there.....unrequited love, romantic love, puppy love, infatuated love, and the list goes on and on...but all the lists always end at unconditional love...which is what I am sure you all have for me...it is the kind that you feel consistently regardless of what the other person does. The kind every blogger hopes her readers have :)


C Tam said...

If it makes you feel any better, that love language theory is not backed up by any research...so feel free to take it or leave it.

I love asparagus too, but have you ever tried the canned variety?? Not love. Negative love. Nary a bit of love. Speaking of which, I will point out the true opposite of love is what you covered in a recent post: indifference/ignoring (rather than most people's knee-jerk response to say "hate" is the opposite of love). I can explain why the research in social science backs up this idea, if you ever care to have that conversation.

Anonymous said...

Very interesting thoughts...I have read The 5 Love Languages.
It simply states that we all have different personality types and show and accept love differetly.

My husband and I speak 2 differet languages. While he is cleaning and I would prefer dinner or flowers or lavish gifts:) (That shouldn't surpise you). But I realize that is his way of saying I love you.

As you stated there are so many different variations of love...and in my opinion(I have many)the world needs more of!

Hug your asparagus and then tell someone you love them!