Sigh...where to start? I have been thinking about you since you are coming soon. You and I sure have been through a lot together huh? Some years we have cried. Some years we haven't. Remember way back when we used to have expectations? Yea those were silly times huh? I hope you have been grateful that I have not ever dreaded you coming. You could have had someone that really felt like a number was what it was all about.
Is it strange that I never remember really wanting something for my birthday. You know some people can remember that year they wanted a bike. Or that year they needed a puppy. I don't remember ever having my heart set on something that I thought I would die if I did not get.
Remember how I hate to answer the phone on my birthday? Yea sometime I should really get therapy for that huh? I wonder why I do that?
Do you remember that surprise party my parents gave me when I was 12? It was my first boy/girl party. I was totally surprised. I got three necklaces from three different boys and I thought that I had reached the pinnacle of happiness until I had a teenage boy and took him to choose a necklace as a present for a girl and started to wonder if those boys had chosen the necklaces or their moms had? :)
Are you worried that I am going to be 41 and I still keep expecting to wake up to a day that feels completely different from other days? Remember that year in Princeton when I had 4 little kids oh so close together, a hubby that traveled and no money and that sweet lady in the ward from China who I barely knew made me that amazing homemade birthday cake. And it made me cry because someone thought of me. Oh drat look I still cry about that. ( geesh suck it up...) What about that year that my husband got all those people to write me letters? That was nice...a little embarrassing but nice. What about that year I was already in my pajamas and those ladies knocked on my door and took pictures of me and then dragged me to a late dinner?
Remember how good my brain is at never forgetting the dates of other people's birthdays. Is it weird that I remember September 4, September 23, December 20 and oh so many more? I wonder if there is anyone I knew from years ago that has the kind of brain that remembers birthdays and remembers me on mine?
I know you know that I have a perfect birthday tucked away in my mind but is it strange that I would never tell a soul what it is. For some reason I like to have this very unrealistic hope that there is someone that knows me so well that I don't need to say what my perfect birthday is. Someone out there just knows.
Well, it was fun chatting.