I did it. I left Amanda this morning. It was not easy. She likes Seminary. She wants to be there. I like her to be there but every morning Miriam and I are sitting in the car waiting for her. I pull out of the garage. I sit there and wait. I pull a little further down the driveway and sit there and wait. Usually she comes bursting out of the front door with her arms full of her cross country stuff, her backpack, her shoes, her socks, a cup of milk and a bag of cheerios. But today....nothing.
I looked at Miriam and I said, just like I do everyday, "I am leaving." She replied, just like she does everyday, "You always say that and you never do." But today I did it. The deal that is understood by all is that I have to leave the driveway by 5:10 am in order to be on time to Springfield. Today I waited until 5:13 and then I just left. Amanda called me at 5:19 when I was already in town. She was hysterical. I could not understand a word she was saying. I just told her very firmly but in a friendly tone that I was not coming back and hung up.
I always get ready the night before. I find things, I set things out, I think ahead. I can not seem to pass the joy of this feeling onto my daughter Amanda. Who is very neat and very organized. It is bewildering to me. Out of all my children she is the most capable of having a lunch made, clothes picked out, and cross country clothes washed, yet she does not do it.
What does one do with someone who proceeds slowly or tediously? There are 78, 400,000 results on google for how to help someone to stop being late. Clearly it is something a lot of people have a problem with. Can you really teach someone not to be late? That anxious, sick feeling I get when I am late....where did I get that from? Where do you get your sense of how long it will take you to be ready? Will she always be this way? Will she even learn anything from me leaving her? :)