Quick, look out the window. Is it snowing? Fluffy flakes? Are you still wearing your hat and coat from when you drove to Seminary this morning at 5am....four long hours ago? Are you still staring out the window at the flakes? Do you know why? Is your mind full? HOORAY!! You passed. Today is officially a lay in the bed kind of day. I love those......sigh, if only they were real and could really happen :)
So have you noticed I am back? You should go collect your money from whoever you bet that I would be back before March 1st. You know me so well. Why can't I just be a shy, quiet, private person? What a happy life that would be :) So why am I back? Well yesterday I felt the urge to look at my blog which I had not looked at in three weeks. I started reading and realized I missed it. I keep forgetting I am writing for me...not you :) I mean I love you and I need you but the writing is for me and despite the fact that I can not tell you everything in my head it still is somewhat therapeutic.
So what have I been doing?
Well I had to give a talk in church on Valentines Day and boy do those consume my life. Did you know I have to write every single word of my talk down? Sick, I know. I love preparing them because I learn and grow every time I give one but they do cause the family to not get dinner and the house to become a mess. Someday I will have enough confidence in myself to get up there and talk without having to do hours of research :) I just have this notion that I should know what I am talking about if I give a talk.
I recently did something I have never done before, I took a Baird child to Home Depot and let her choose.. (well, I influenced her choice in a smallish way) a small sample size of color for her room. The color was green......well one of the 9,000 shades of green. We went home and I even let her apply the color by herself to different parts of her room to see if we liked it. Who says I am controlling? :) Well I really did not like the green it was very yellow-ish, I tried with all my might to be open minded about it but after some discussing, tantrum-ing (her not me), and compromising we have decided to paint the room plain white and accessorize with colorful curtains and such. She really did not think I was being fair. But I tried to explain to her that no other Baird child in the history of the planet has been allowed to do what she got to do. She got further than anyone. But she still does not see it as a positive...nope not in anyway.
I took Tatiana and a friend ice skating. It has been a long time since I went ice skating. The Olympics have made Tatiana very curious about ice skating and we have a rink about 7 minutes from our house so I decided we needed to go do it. The rink has one hour a day where they allow beginners and their parents to skate and they provide these little tiny walkers for the kids to push across the ice as they practice ice skating. It is such a great idea. I just skated along beside Tatiana and her friend as they skated. As I was skating around imagining my amazing flowy ice skater costume ( oh come on, admit it you imagine too :) my mind was wondering about when I learned to ice skate? I can not remember when I learned to ice skate. It may have been in college? I do remember when I was a grown up chaparone at a youth activity in Kansas that I had a kid dart in front of me, while ice skating, and while I had two hands occupied holding other kids hands, caused me to fall face first on the ice and break my nose. I do remember going on a date to Salt Lake City to go ice skating when I was at BYU. But I do not remember how or when I actually learned.
I read The Princess Bride by William Goldman. I have almost started this book twice but never quite got into it. It confused me. But this time I read it all and then promptly googled William Goldman and now everything is clear to me. If you ever read it or have attempted to read it it is very important for you to know that William Goldman and Morgenstern are one and the same. There is no other longer more complicated version of Princess Bride written by a man named Morgenstern. It was just a clever writing method that Goldman used. I loved the book. I had no idea you could improve on the Princess Bride movie but believe me you can and I learned a lot more about the well known characters and experiences to help explain who they were. We had a great discussion at book club about the book, about true love, and if it really exists and what it is. I wondered a lot as I read this book about how much Westley loved Buttercup. Some people were bothered by how she gave up on him and went with Prince Humperdink.... after they went through the fire swamp. How could she? But I was never mad at Buttercup for going with Humperdink...she knew Westley would come for her she would rather know he was alive. She could live knowing that he was alive and still have hope to be with him someday....right?
Other than all that all I have been doing 24/7 is watching, wondering, and agonizing over the many teenagers in this house, mulling over how to help them "seize the day." How to help them see their potential when I can barely see my own. How to help them not care about anything anyone else may say. How to help them to see what an amazing time of their life these years are how there are so many options and so many things to try and that failure is okay.