Jun 22, 2010

To Advance With Violent Effort.

Hey, when was the last time you struggled? Do you know what it means to struggle? I confess I never did until recently. If you are struggling you are contending with an adversary or an opposing force. Or if you prefer, another definition is that, "you are contending resolutely with a task or problem" but I think my favorite is, "to advance with violent effort."

Jillian Michaels, who I exercise with every other day, and hate deeply because she makes me struggle, says that you need to put stress on something to make it change. She is talking about making my body change shape but I easily realized that what she is saying also applies to my life too. As much as I long for it the truth is, if I live a perfect, easy life I will stay the same and never grow.

All that said I have lived a pretty cushy, struggle free life. I kept wondering for many years when my trials would come, anticipating them and wondering if I was ready for what they would bring. I kept wondering who would be there to help me through them? Would anyone know I was struggling and reach out to me? And, it may seem strange but I was looking forward to the time that I could use my struggles to relate with someone else and help them through the same things.

In the Bible Job had a struggle ( to put it nicely) and the part that always bothered me was not the boils he got, the property that was destroyed, the children destroyed, the health he lost, it was the losing of his friends. Can you imagine having no one to support you or listen to you through your struggle? Can you imagine no one who understood that you were a work in progress and that your struggle was going to make you better?

Have you ever struggled to open a fruit snack wrapper? I hate it when I discover that for some annoying reason someone in some factory somewhere did not put the little cut in the top of my fruit snack package so that I can easily tear it open. I hate that I can't do it with my teeth, you can't do it with your teeth, and our hands don't work, the car keys don't work and there is strangely no scissors in the car? I feel like that has been my life the past two years and six months. I knew I was going to learn something amazing from my struggles I could feel it...just like I can taste the awesome chewy fruit snacks even though the package is not open. And I was right, the ability to feel peace, the ability to not care anymore, the ability to learn has been very tasty :)

Oh we can not dismiss the fact that it has been most painful, it has cost me a dear friendship, and it has used up way too many tears. But I am now qualified to be there for you when you have the same struggles, I will be watching to see if you need me and I will know exactly what you need, I will listen forever, I will be patient, I will reassure you your a good person even though sometimes you may appear crazy, I will give you as many chances as you need, and I will never give up on you. All I ask in return is some Reeses :)

1 comment:

Camie said...

Hi Jen!
Just a few comments--first of all, I struggle with Jillian Michaels about two times a week. And I have to say that it has made a serious change for the better on my body! As for the harder struggles of life--I send you hugs and virtual Reeses--I wish I could do more, but just know you have a friend out here who cares!