Jul 15, 2011

Can I Do It?

Once upon a time there was this girl named Jennifer. Jennifer loved to go on hikes. I mean really loved to go on hikes. She loved to invite lots of people to go with her whenever she went on a hike because she had this annoying need to share. One day, a few years ago, she read about a hike that had many promises of amazing views. She needed to see for herself. She gathered friends and they went to hike this hike and find the aforementioned view. Alas, Jennifer took the wrong trail to the view, frustrated almost everyone who went with her. and never found the view she was looking for. She hated letting people down. She hated not finishing. The not seen view has haunted her at least once a week ever since her failure. She kept trying to figure out a way to get back to this hike and finish what she started but,ever so sadly, it never worked out. The hard part now is that over time more and more symbolism had crept in and associated itself with this hike now not only did she need to see that view but that she needed to go alone. WHAT? Did Jennifer know what alone meant? The words Jennifer and alone NEVER, EVER go together. Can she do it? Well, she thinks she can. Is she afraid of alone? Yeah, truthfully she is. She wants to be safe but she needs to do this hike alone for way too many reasons. She needs to face silence. She needs to be able to just make herself happy and not spend the entire hike trying to make sure everyone else is happy. She has been doing that during her entire hike through life. She needs to get to the view by herself. So Jennifer is:

Staring at her calendar for next week
Staring at her map
Writing her will in case a bear eats her, or she gets lost on her way to the view
Making a list of weapons she could carry :)
Determining the time of day to go.
Sunrise or Sunset? (A very symbolic choice to be made.)

She is excited for this adventure. She is positive there are blueberries once you get to the view. She is pretty sure other people have done this alone and been oh so fine. She needs to do something hard and prove to herself that she can. Jennifer's vegetable garden in her backyard is very overgrown for the first time ever. Jennifer has not made dinner in ages. Jennifer thinks she needs to talk, and talk, and talk to solve problems but maybe all she needs is to get to a view all alone. So wish Jennifer luck as she reads everything she possibly can about the Alander Mountain hike. As she possibly disobeys. As she finds her courage to do something that involves silence. And look forward to her report of her hike alone.....I wonder what Jennifer talks to herself about on the hike? :) Someone once told me that alone and lonely are two different things.....I wonder ? :) Can a mother of seven, someone who was voted Most Friendliest in her senior class way back in 1986, a winner of a gold medal in question asking, a winner of a bronze in reaching out to others do something alone?


Anonymous said...

so... did you get there?

Jennifer said...

I am going on July 30th....wish me luck and look forward to my blog about it :)