Aug 14, 2011

Realizing.

What do you know about realizing? When was the last time you realized something? If you realize something you understand it clearly. You discern it. You know it. You become fully aware of it.

But then what? Sometimes realizing makes you happy. Sometimes realizing makes you feel oh so melancholy. Sometimes you realize something and attempt to ignore it because it is something you prefer to not understand clearly. This is not recommended because if you realize and then ignore you usually just stay in one place and never progress..... sometimes we may be all for that not progressing thing...secretly, of course :) Once you awknowledge that you realized something then you have to choose what to do with this information. I have been doing a lot of realizing lately. It is wearing me out. Is it possible to go a couple days without realizing something? You know take a break from realizing? Does realizing understand if I tell it I am on base right now? Some of the realizing is small and some of the realizing is huge. I had felt a big realization coming on for a few days and I confess...I tried with all my might to hold it off.....how silly and unrealistic am I? I fought a good fight but the realization won the fight and it arrived this morning when I was laying in my cozy bed staring out the window.It was a weird moment when the realization washed over me. I let it come and tried to embrace it and be one with this adorable realization. It was tough because it meant I had to do some admitting. This realization has hung over me all day as I have wondered what to do with it. You do not have to wonder about what to do with the happy realizations so I guess that tells you enough :)

Colbie Caillat sings a pretty great song about realizing. If you really start thinking about it everything is about realizing. Yeah, do not think too hard about it :)

Just right now just off the top of my head with my hands tied behind my back and with my eyes closed i can give you a pretty extensive list of realizations just from today....read and be amazed at my realizing skills :)

I realized I like waking up to rain.
I realized we are out of band aids.
I realized you should never walk into relief society late with way too many bags in your hands and tears in your throat that you thought were all happily supressed.....
I realized that I have a new favorite movie.....The Adjustment Bureau.
I realized Tatiana is almost as tall as me
I realized that nothing is better than unconditional and it is oh so hard to find.
I realized that I can stay up until two in the morning working on refreshments, and a talk for my seminary kickoff meeting and still function all day without a nap.
I realized that I have way too many cucumbers in my garden
I realized that Natalie's birthday is this week...hate it when those sneak up on you.
I realized I have not been a good friend
I realized that my favorite flower is a dahlia...I realize this every day when I check on them and they make me smile :)
I realized that a little 8 year old giving you a hug is pretty awesome.


The worst part about realizing is when YOU realize something BUT no matter how you try you can not have any control over if someone else realizes it. I wish you could will someone to realize something would that not be cool? But then would it still be called realizing? :)

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