I have found myself thinking about ancestors tonight. Is it strange that as I have struggled this summer with some oh so enormous difficulties that the one thought that kept me steady through it all was of my ancestors? Yeah, all those adorable people who came before me, all the ones I am descended from. The ones I got my stubbornness from. The ones I got my need to talk from. The ones that I acquired my love of connecting with people from. The ones I got my need for fairness from. And one of them surely had to have given me my sense of humor....sigh, and do not forget the hateful curly hair, and there is oh so much more....but not here, not now :)
SO why did/do my stubborn, talkative,connected, humorous, curly haired ancestors keep me steady through my miserable-ness? And how did they do it since they are long since gone? Dang good questions. You see, my ancestors pushed handcarts across the plains to Utah. They suffered persecution and hardships for what they believed. Some of them died before they ever got to Utah. They left their possessions behind. They never gave up. When the very evil, "I really can not do this" thought crossed my mind this summer the next thought that immediately followed was how could I dare think that ? How could I betray that word persevere that is very solid in my genes?
I was in Utah this summer on the 24th of July, the very date that in 1847 Mormon Pioneers first entered the Salt Lake Valley. I was up very early this particular Sunday morning. I had a multitude of thoughts spinning through my little old mind as I was driving north on the freeway from Salt Lake City towards Plainfield with those huge, majestic mountains sitting on my right with the brilliant morning sun shining on them I found myself doing the sobbing thing as I drove along thinking about what the people who had come before me had given up.....yeah, you know sacrificed. What have you sacrificed lately? What have I sacrificed lately? If you sacrifice something you give up something of value as a means of gaining something more desirable or of preventing some evil. Do I even understand what sacrifice means? Hmmmm I wonder. I think I do.
I have quite a bit of my ancestors writings but I find myself longing for a big old fashioned talk....since we are all talkative and love to connect would that not be lovely? :) What gave them strength? What gave them courage? What were their fears? What was their comfort food? :)
I wonder what kind of ancestor I am being? What strength am I giving to some curly haired, stubborn,talkative, future mini me through my example? Do you think when they were bucking up and being strong way back in the 1800's they had any idea how it would influence my life in 2011 in Massachusetts? I am ever so grateful for their examples.