Feb 28, 2012

"Muchness" And Jabberwockies.

Remember Alice In Wonderland? Remember when Alice gets to Wonderland and all the creatures are debating about whether the white rabbit brought back the right Alice or not? I knew you remembered :)

 You see, it was very important that the right Alice  was brought to Wonderland because the right Alice was needed to slay the Jabberwocky and save them all from the Red Queen. The wrong Alice would not be able to do that. The minute Alice hears that the right Alice is destined to slay the Jabberwocky she declares without hesitation that she is definitely not the right Alice. She keeps insisting when anyone mentions it that she could, "not slay the Jabberwocky even if she wanted too." Johnny Depp AKA the Mad Hatter finally has a heart to heart chat with Alice and he tells her straight up:

 "You are not the same as you were before.... you were much more muchier.... you have lost your muchness." Alice questions, "My muchness?" Yes, he says, pointing to her heart "In there, something is missing."

 Why I had missed this glorious gem when I had watched Alice And Wonderland the two times before last Sunday I do not know. You probably already know that you get different things out of reading a certain book or watching a certain movie each additional time you do it according to where happen to be in your adorable life. And at this point in Jennifer's adorable life the discussion on "muchness" in Alice And Wonderland pierced my very soul :) Was using the words pierced and soul too dramatic for you? :) Sorry! But I had to impress upon you the instant realization I had that I had lost my "muchness." Ugh no wonder I could not slay the nasty Jabberwocky. I am pretty sure I had "muchness" when I was eleven... I lost it... and then I am certain I had it between 16 and 19 and then without even knowing it I lost it again.....that ever elusive "muchness."

After listening to her dear friends, including Absolem the blue caterpillar, who straightforwardly declares things to Alice like:

 "I can't help you if you don't even know who you are, stupid girl."


 "You're almost Alice."

 And the white rabbit who says when he sees her:

 "Well if it isn't the wrong Alice."

 Alice finally determines she actually is the right Alice and that she can slay the Jabberwocky. Thank goodness for friends!! Friends who are there for you when, at the moment, you can not find where you have put your muchness but they know without a doubt you have it and will find it again. Friends who can call you stupid girl :) I love that I have some friends like that.

 Having "muchness" is a little scary. It requires action and courage. It means making choices. I love when Alice finally does something hard that she did not want to do and she exclaims, "How is that for muchness? You all know Alice finally slays the Jabberwocky and frees Wonderland from the reign of the Red Queen.Then she makes a hard choice to leave Wonderland and her dear friends and go back up the rabbit hole to her real world. When she gets back she tells everyone what she really thinks in a kind and matter of fact way. She tells Hamish she can not marry him because he is not the right one for her. She tells her sister that she loves her but it is her life and she will decide what to do with it. She found her "muchness" and thus is true to herself.

I think you find your "muchness" when you do hard things. It is a truly invigorating feeling when you are true to who you are and you do not care what others think or say even when they are so dreadfully off base and so wrong that the pain they cause you in their judgements is overwhelming. I have been ever so slowly learning about this. In our move to Massachusetts I have often felt like Alice in Wonderland. So many experiences that I have never had at any other time in my life.....so bewildering...I kept thinking I would wake up from this odd dream just like Alice kept thinking she would wake up. But instead of waking up I have learned amazing things about my muchness which has turned out to be way better than waking up. And  finally I am ever so looking forward to slaying some Jabberwocky's ! Here's to muchness!! I hope you found yours :)

1 comment:

Sarah said...

Aunt Jenny I LOVE this!
Actually I just love your whole blog(:
Anyways, I just wanted to say that, and I love you, and you should come visit me, because, as you know, I'm your favorite niece;) (I've been taking a line or two out of your book, can you tell?:))