Feb 14, 2012
I am refusing to let the guilt take over. Girls do what girls can do. I even am very possibly embracing the thoughts that are creeping in that express frustration about candy, chocolate, flowers and love all being mixed together. Am I the Grinch of Valentines Day? Can you be a hopeless romantic and a grinch? :) I confess the candy makes me feel fat and feel guilt. The flowers just die. And love? Yeah, do not get me started on my thoughts on that little gem. If I was in charge of Valentines day I am pretty sure it would be customary to give someone you loved a truck full of compost for their garden. Or to make them a chicken coop for their chickens. Or to to tell them you think the basement needs a fresh coat of paint and that you would adore doing that for them. Going out to dinner would probably not be okay. Can you believe I have arrived at the stage in my life that going out to dinner does not appeal to me? Spending all that money on food that I will never see again makes me queasy. I feel like aliens have taken over my body. I used to live to eat out.
Today I found my mind wandering over the last 43 years worth of Valentines Days I have lived through searching for memories. There is of course the blissfully uncomplicated elementary school parties. You know when you had to make a Valentine for everyone in your class. And you would search for the double meaning in any words on the Valentines that the boys in your class gave you not knowing their mom had just handed that particular valentine to them and made them write whatever name was next on the list on it. Remember the spend a dollar and send candy or carnations with a note to a friend junior high days? Trying to act like you did not care in case you happened not to get any outward signs of love. I will never ever forget the giant decorated sugar cookie I got from Dave who I dated in 10th grade that said "I love you" on it. Would you deem me odd if I told you I saved the perfectly pink frosted sugar cookie for way too long and never ate it? There is the saved Valentine from my BYU years that a very observant boy made for me that declared..."Even preppies dig Valentines day." I saved it because somebody recognized all the argyle vests, knee high socks, and penny loafers I wore :) I strangely do not have any other Valentine Day memories and that bothers me a little. I do not even know how many of those 43 Valentines Days I had a actual boyfriend for. That seems like something a girl should know :)