I have been dwelling a lot on the word potential in the last few days. It all started with someone posting a video on Facebook from the website mormon.org. I rarely click on links on Facebook...I am not sure why I rarely do that...I guess its because of the time it takes and the resolve I have to be able to declare that I only scroll quickly through my Facebook news feed but at this particular moment it was late at night and it was "me" time and it intrigued me and it was posted by my dear friend Laurie Stoker so I clicked on it. It was a video from mormon.org about a woman who lives in New York City, it was her talking about her life, her struggles, her joys and it ended with her declarations of who she was including that she was a Mormon. I was hooked. I have no idea how many of these profiles there are on mormon.org. but I could not stop watching them. I think I watched fifty of them.....she admitted sheepishly to her blog readers :) I am a Mormon but I fear that that may be about all I have in common with these people. Video after video... accomplished person after accomplished person... Mormon after Mormon....these people all realized their potential and reveled in it and it exuded from them in every way. I confess I started feeling inadequate at about video number 37. I found myself wondering what would my mormon.org video say about me?
I am 43 and about five minutes ago I looked up the word potential in the dictionary for the first time in my life. I am 43 and I think when I was ten I thought when I was 43 I would be a famous singer :) I am 43 and I do not know what I want to be when I grow up. I am 43 and I have a latent excellence or ability that has definitely not been developed because...gasp...I do not even know what it is :) I do love to dabble in things....gardening...hiking...traveling...blogging...piano playing....thrift store shopping...connecting...being hard on myself...reading...running...staring at nature...singing along with the radio...driving to fast...riding roller coasters....but there is yet to be a sign of excellence in any of these areas :) My life is filled with incredible longing as I observe the world around me. I feel inspired by everything I see and yet here I am doing nothing? I want to make difference with all my might. These people in these videos all found out how to make a difference they all seem to never have been afraid of anything that would stand in the way of their becoming...they all have determination...they all know who they are....they know what they are capable of becoming or being. I wonder how you get that? They know what is important to them. They know what they can and can not do. Some of them are famous like the lead singer to The Killers or former newscasters like Jane Clayson others are pretty basic normal people.
Do you want to know what the antonyms of potential are? Helpless, impossible, lacking and unpromising....yeah brutal huh? I have got figure out what I am capable of becoming or being because those antonyms are not going to sound so good at my funeral...are they? :) How embarrassing....well at least I won't be there to hear them :) Sigh...hang in there guys this reading my blog thing will be much more fun when Mr. Realization appears and slaps me out of the silly who am I phase :)