Nov 20, 2012

What To Be When I Grow Up?

So for exactly a year and 24 weeks and two days I have been trying to figure out what direction my little old life is going to take. We all have that moment when something crushes us and we have to figure out where we are going after we recover from the crush. One idea that has been bumping around in my mind has been going back to college. My first attempt at college was so "Jennifer." I loved it....every single minute of it. I was at BYU in Provo, Utah. I loved my roommates. I loved my racquetball class. I loved my ballroom dance class. I loved hiking the mountains. I adored playing in the snow until all hours. I loved me a few boys. I loved being the one everyone knew they could count on to play anytime and anywhere. Notice there is no mention of serious classes in the previous statements. Notice I did not say that I loved me some straight A's :) Or even my straight C's for that matter :) I desperately wanted to do good in school and could not for the life of me figure out why I could not do well. Twenty three years later I think I understand what it would take for me to FINALLY succeed in school but understanding aside is it the right thing for me to do? It has taken me about a year to get up my courage to actually talk to someone about the possibilities in the college world that are available to a 44 year old homemaker who has no idea what she wants to be when she grows up.

This morning at 9 am I met with a lady named Lori at a community college about 25 minutes from my house. I felt so grown up walking on a college campus. It felt so refreshing and empowering to just be there. I feel a tad embarrassed that I am in this position at 44 years old. Think of where I could be if I had had some confidence, direction, and courage 20 years ago? I am sure I could have been a much better mother if I had had an education and knew I could do something hard. NO, raising seven kids has not been hard...thanks for trying to convince me that I did something worthwhile though :) Anyway, Lori, the counselor for, "old people who want to come back to college," was very nice. I spent way too much time wondering what she was thinking of me as I was doing my over sharing thing I do :) She ended up passing me off to Robert in the career center because everyone knows you have to have some notion of what you want to be before you can enroll in college.

Robert chatted with me for a minute and then sat me down in front of a career center computer so that I could take a very magic test that would determine what careers on this planet would make all my dreams come true. I was so proud of myself for following all his directions perfectly and not having to ask even one question. This is a major miracle, for you see I am an Olympic level question asker. I never want to do anything wrong so i ask questions to make sure I do it perfectly right...shhh do not tell :) But I concentrated with all my might when he gave me the instructions that I thankfully had no questions.

I had to answer 116 questions about my likes and dislikes. Some of the questions were easy and some were hard. I am not a woman of the world so some of the terminology in the questions confused me. Questions like, "Do you like to get your hands dirty?" were tres easy :) But others that seemed to allude to if you liked to be bossy or not were harder. I knew I did not want to work on or in the ocean. I know I love information. I know Mr Math and I are not great friends. I am not sure if in the end Mr.Computer understood who I was because when it was all over his career suggestions for me appeared to be ALL over the place. I loved it when Robert (the career counselor guy) came back to check on me and as he looked at my list of suggested careers according to my answers he was struggling to know what to say... he looked at that list of 20 careers that I had narrowed it down too from the 40 the computer had suggested and he was speechless. I frankly was too. It was all over the place...hmm just like me :) There was Librarian, horticulturist, Funeral home director, professional athlete?, several forms of nursing careers, several forms of secretary careers, flight attendant, surgical assistant.....what made me smile was right smack in the middle of all my 40 career possibilities was homemaker....yeah, been there done that :)

I am pretty sure that I want to be a high school teacher horticulturist airline attendant librarian tour guide with some nursing on the side :) That is possible right? Everything sounds so incredibly interesting to me. I am trying to force myself to focus, to think about reality, to think into the future and see what I want a career to accomplish in my life... but that is so not me :) You would think that after all the soul searching I have been doing in the past year, 24 weeks, and two days that the answer would be clear. School is not my only option. I could write a children's book. I could continue to do yard work for people. I am very qualified to clean houses forever and ever. I could find a sugar daddy who just wants to read and travel with me :) JK

 So my friends stay tuned to see if I even decide to grow up and then what on earth I am going to be when I grow up :) And if through some weird twist of fate you know what I should be please please please tell me :)


Camie said...

I think you should be a writer, because you already are one. I love reading your blog!

My Many Coloured Days said...

Finally finished a semester and have a moment to catch up on blogs! You could do SO many things! Know that going back to school isn't as hard as you think it is. We are wiser now. School is easy... juggling everything is what's hard for me (but then again, I don't have 7 you must rock at juggling). Best of luck in deciding what to be when you grow up. I like who you are.