Apr 21, 2014

Go With The Flow

So I have this friend who, in a most loving way( I think :), recently mentioned to me the possibility of "going with the flow." My first thought was, oh dear, this person does not know me at all how sad is this. I think a few years ago telling me I could not go with the flow was a very fair and accurate statement to make but I know better now...I am different now....right? Right? It really got my mind going and I have now been trying to notice every day the moments when I go with the flow and the moments when I don't. Wondering about going with the flow and if it is the most desirable thing to be described as being able to do in the world or if it is not. Do we really highly value people who just go with the flow through everything? Is it an offense if someone says you should go with the flow more? Aren't we thrilled in movies when someone chooses to not go with the flow. How could we profess to love the movie Princess Bride and people who go with the flow in the same breath? I know there is the whole "as you wish thing" but honestly that whole movie is not about going with the flow.....right? It is about fighting for true love. How about blowing up the death star? No going with the flow there. I dare you to find a movie that is all peace, love and go with the flow....someone is always fighting for something.

Only Dead Fish Go With The Flow.
 You all know how I hate the phrase, "it is what it is." I can not decide where the phrase, "go with the flow" fits in on my hate scale. I can see where there are times that going with the flow is important and there are times where it is not. I went with the flow for twenty five years of a very tough marriage. I went with the flow way too long with a child that is self destructing before my eyes. I went with the flow leaving dishes on the counter just this week. I went with the flow and did not skip songs on my I-shuffle when I was exercising....yeah I just listened as they came, crazy me :) I went with the flow many years ago and I have a sock basket to prove it. See, I am so "go with the flow"... Yay me :)

Sigh, okay, I know I can not trick you all yes, it is a well known fact that I do tend to think there always has to be a way to make something work. It simply can not be what it is....we can fix this...we can make this work. I have been known to fight in a most embarrassing way for something. I have fought for friendships that I never recognized were hopeless. I do now but not after I really and most deeply embarrassed myself many times over :)

So is it good to be able to go with the flow? I think in an airport it is very important to be able to go with the flow because you have no control over what happens there so just be okay with it. I think in a long line at the checkout counter it is very important to be able to go with the flow just enjoy the opportunity to read how many calories are in the candy and read about the Kardashian's and Miley because there is nothing you can do about all the other people that happen to be buying groceries at the same exact time you are. I think in a traffic jam going with the flow is a most appreciated quality. When it comes to gardening I know without a doubt that you have to be able to go with the flow. You never know what bug, blight, animal, or disease, may appear and you have to just go with the flow. Some years will be awesome others not so much. I can and have gone with the flow in all of these situations....but if I figure out how not to I will totes let you know. Weather...yeah, you have to be able to go with the flow when it comes to weather. Last week it was 70 degrees one day and we woke up to two inches of snow the next. Natalie cried some very bitter tears about it but I appreciated the last blast of beautiful white and chose to go with the flow. And in Natalie's defense she is eleven. You also have to go with the flow when it comes to leaves and acorns they will always be falling and you will always be raking :)

I am not good at going with the flow when it comes to my hair. I have naturally curly hair and I fight it for all I am worth. No going with the flow with my hair happening here. I can not for the life of me seem to be able to go with the flow when it comes to whichever cat we own at the moment. I finally recognize that the things that they do that drive me freaking crazy are very normal and expected cat behaviors but I still can not embrace them and go with the flow. If I really care about you it is very hard for me to go with the flow. My relationships have always meant the world to me and nothing gets my heart rate up faster than the thought of losing you....if I care about you. Are you sure you are gone? We can totally figure this out....come back. Yes, I am the same girl who just gave up on a marriage....does not make sense does it....? If I think I do not understand you or if you do not understand me I will never ever be found going with the flow. And if I am going over a waterfall I am going to try pretty darn hard to not go with the flow just in case you are wondering :)

It is awfully hard to figure out if there is an answer to this dilemma.And I do tend to be on team not go with the flow. But that said, I would propose that we, most likely, need both in our lives. How can we change or accomplish anything if we are always just going with the flow? I guess my problem is not that I do not go with the flow it is that I sometimes am not very good at knowing when to go with the flow. But hey we all can't be perfect :)

Apr 17, 2014

Do You Wanna Build A Puzzle?

Do you like to do puzzles? Someone was asking me the other day about how my life is going and I was describing all the pieces to her and explaining how I was just patiently waiting for them to all fit together....you know, like a puzzle, and while we were sort of chuckling about that "life fitting together like a puzzle" thing she told me about a company that makes puzzles and when they send you the puzzle it arrives in a blank box so that you have no idea what you are putting together. Who would not want to know what they were putting together? How would that ever be fun? And yet I realized that that is my life right now. Except my pieces are not even sitting nicely in a box...even if the box was blank...... if the pieces could just be nicely sitting in that blank box that would be so sweet. All my pieces are swirling around me. Most of the time I feel very peaceful about all these flying puzzle pieces from the aforementioned blank box but other times I feel overwhelmed, very alone, and lay in bed until noon and randomly cry. I have to have faith that the pieces will come together when they are supposed to. I know I will look back at this time and recognize why all the pieces needed to swirl around as long as they are. But some days I just want to reach out and grab a piece and force it to fit. Come on ...you know you have done that before :) "Look", you gleefully exclaim, to the person you are doing the puzzle with who, without any effort, keeps finding all the right pieces and putting them together, "this one fits".... "Oh wait it doesn't".....my bad.

I am so happy to say that I have finally have nabbed the job piece. As of today I got the part time adult circulation desk job at the Westfield Atheneaum. I have been waiting for this piece for a long time. And felt like when this piece fell into place it would immediately help all the other pieces fall into place but sadly that is not the case. All the other pieces are still flying around with little ol minds of their own. But the hours of this job could not be better. Does it happen often that the first real job you get you love with all your might and that the hours are perfect and that you love the people?

My house has a for sale sign in front of it but not much has happened. This is a piece I have no control over. I just have to wait and wait and wait. But the divorce can not be final until this piece falls into place with a sold sign on it :)

Where the chickens and the cat are going to, go that is a piece.
Downsizing/getting rid of 25 years worth of stuff, that is a piece.
Figuring out how to store the stuff I am going to keep, that is a piece.
Where to live, that is a piece.
Making sure 7 children are dealing, that is a piece.
Dividing finances, that is a piece.
Ignoring people who think you did not try hard enough, that is a piece.
Keeping up the scripture reading and praying so you can make good choices, that is a piece.
Laying on your bed staring out the window, that is a piece.
Feeling like you are all alone, that is a piece.
Feeling guilty, that is a piece.
Figuring out your part, that is a piece.
Ignoring the Reeses eggs, that is a piece :)

Why do we do puzzles anyway? Don't they just frustrate us? Don't they just require unlimited patience? When I do a puzzle I find all the edges and do them first that gives me an idea of the boundaries of the puzzle and why wouldn't you do all the pieces that have one side in common first? Duh. Then I try to sort the other pieces into categories as best I can....all the ones with some red over here. All the ones with some trees over here. Oh look this one has part of the house it goes in this pile. Sometimes I look at a piece and can not for the life of me figure out which category it goes in. Thankfully there is a category for that :) Sometimes just to remind myself there is an end I try to guess which piece will end up being last. The hardest part about puzzles is that they are messy and take space. You have to use the kitchen table or you have to set up an extra table or even use a spot on the hardwood floor. Puzzles are never ever convenient. They are constantly in the way. It takes all my strength to let them be until they are done and then I try to figure out how long they need to be done before they can go back in the box. My kids think they need to be on display forever....yeah not me.

So all the bad mouthing of puzzles aside. Can we chat a minute about the eternal joy that comes when two pieces fit together? Not just any two pieces but the two pieces of blue sky that pretty much look exactly the same. How about when you find the last piece of a house and the picture becomes satisfyingly clear? All the miserable searching and trying piece after piece part fades away and is replaced with a confident I can SO do this feeling.....and happy....yeah do not forget happy :) Oh and clear.....don't forget clear :)

Apr 13, 2014

Michelle Kwan and Musing About Being A Celebrity.

I love figure skating. Always have. Always will. Kristi Yamaguchi, Ekaterina Gordeeva, Tara Lipinski, Nancy Kerrigan, Tonya Harding, Michelle Kwan, Brian Boitano, Katarina Witt, Scott Hamilton, Ilia Kulig...just to name a few. I have always watched the Olympics and any other figure skating competition I could get my hands on. It was when we lived in Kansas that I first learned about the traveling figure skating show called Stars On Ice. It is a figure skating show that has been around for 28 years. Scott Hamilton and some friends of his started it in 1986 when the Ice Capades did not renew their contract with Scott.The show almost always has the medalists from the most recent Olympics performing along with many other big figure skating names.

It was 2001, the last year that Scott Hamilton actually skated in the show, that I went to my first Stars On Ice show in Kansas City. I took Madeline and Miriam with me that year. We got to see Tara Lipinski, Kristy Yamaguchi, Kurt Browning and Scott Hamilton just to name a few. It was fabulous. But life, kids, and not living by a city the tour stopped in made it so I never went to see it again until......yesterday. I have no idea what compelled me after all these years of not having Stars On Ice on my radar to decide to look it up. I think it is because I watched all the figure skating from the Sochi Olympics with Tatiana and Natalie. And that brought back lots of memories and started lots of conversations. It got so crazy that I even ended up pulling out the glossy old program from the Stars On Ice show that I went to in 2001 to show the girls all about it. So anyway I ended up looking up all the 2014 tour dates and stops several weeks ago but I did not act on it I just sort of let it simmer in my mind. And then for some reason a week ago I decided that my girls would love it and I was doing it no matter what. The tickets were very reasonable and I had no doubt that we would have fun and sometimes you just can not resist the urge to give your kids a view of the world.

The show is always so well done nicely choreographed numbers, awesome lights, good music. We had pretty good seats too. I wanted to take pictures but I honestly did not want to take my eyes off of the skaters to attempt it. They all were so mesmerizing. I have to tell you that watching their shadows on the ice while they are skating is pretty dang cool :) Besides you have to have some mad picture taking skills to capture anything but a blur when they are skating and it is dark :)

I am not going to focus too much on the spectacular show we got to see because the real reason I am even blogging about it is because during intermission Natalie and I decided to go up in the concourses and try to find a drinking fountain. While we were walking I noticed a crowd of people gathered around someone I took a peek into the circle as we kept moving but I am not one to stop and gawk so I did not question much further than that unfruitful peek and Natalie and I kept on our drinking fountain quest. We visited the ladies room and on the way back to our seats the crowd we had passed earlier had dispersed and I could clearly see who it had been around.....darling Michelle Kwan. I tried to explain to Natalie who she was. A little mortified that I had not educated my girls on all the figure skaters in the land. I was shocked when Natalie said she wanted her picture taken with her. Natalie is so anxious and shy most of the time and hates any attention to be drawn to her so I definitely paid attention when she said she wanted her picture taken. There were about ten people still milling about getting autographs and pictures and the Stars On Ice show had restarted and we almost just left. But I knew this was a once in a lifetime. SO I watched, as sweet Michelle Kwan, carefully took pictures with everyone and autographed anything they handed her. It felt so weird to want to get a picture taken with someone because of their accomplishments. She was so gracious about it and felt so sincere. It did not feel right to take something from her and having nothing to offer in return. Um do you want a lifesaver? :) I wanted to chat away with her like we were friends. I can not get over how surreal it was to watch us all swoop in to gather what we wanted from her and then turn and leave her standing there. I wonder what that feels like? Do they feel how weird it is too?

This is the first celebrity I have ever been anywhere near close enough to to get a picture with. Oh wait, there was that small concert where Imagine Dragons was the third billed group and Miriam and I were standing there all casually at the back of this teeny tiny standing room only concert with the lead singer of Imagine Dragons. This was right before Imagine Dragon shot straight up to playing at the Grammy awards. I had no idea what they would become :) But getting autographs and pictures was weird then too. Why do we want proof that we saw them in person? Other than what we want from them we have no connection. So strange. I have been having all these lingering thoughts about it all day today. I even searched for a fan mail address or an email for Michelle Kwan when I got home last night thinking I wanted to write a note to her thanking her for being so thoughtful and kind to all those people. She was so patient with everyone.

I have had a good time researching her today. Reminding myself about her skating career and learning about what she has done after the figure skating part of her life. She went back to school, got a job, and got married. She seems to be a very thoughtful person. And in my snooping around I found a quote from her that I really liked:

"Literally falling on the ice and having to pick yourself up in front of thousands of people is not an easy thing to do. The thing is to pick yourself back up, to learn from your mistakes."

I wish I knew about the quote when I ran into her in the Providence Rhode Island Dunkin Donuts Arena she and I could have had a great chat I know all about falling down and picking yourself back up and time will tell if I am learning anything :)

Apr 8, 2014

What Your Books Say.

Today I spent a few hours helping get things ready for the annual library book sale at the library in our town. I could do this, "volunteer at the book sale" thing all day every day.  People drop off the books they want to donate, we sort through them, and then categorize them. The room we are holding the book sale in is in the basement of the library. It is full of tables and we have signs with categories written on them sitting on each table and we sort the donations that come in accordingly. I love, love, love looking through the titles of the books. Today we all giggled when we found a book titled The Pop up Book of Phobias. I smile when I am leafing through a book and find a piece of paper with writing on it, a bookmark, or even a receipt. Those sorts of things give the book character and always make me feel a connection to the person who had the book before. I did not realize how many things we stick in our books until I started working at the library.

I love seeing what people donate. Their books say so much about them. I know some of the books are gifts that they kept because of the thought of the giver so I try not to judge them to harshly on all their titles :) But I do wonder what made them choose to get rid of the particular books that they did? How do you know when you are done having a book on your shelf ?

While I was there today a nice man dropped off 5 big boxes of books. They were all nice, hardcover books. As he was leaving he told us about how both his parents had recently died and how he had had a hard time going through their books and giving them up. It was a very significant, and by his own admission, emotional moment for him. As I sorted through those five boxes of books I learned so much about his mom and dad. There were lots of biographies on British royalty. Lots of books about nature and more particularly stories set in nature in New England. A copy of Emily Posts books on etiquette. Books identifying British birds. A biography on Estee Lauder. Beautiful Christmas song books. The books were all immaculately taken care of. Their dust covers still on them ( I notice that because I always immediately take my dust covers off) and a carefully placed book plate inside each book with the owners name in it. There were even a few books that had been signed by the authors. It was sad to think about these books heading out into the world to be separated from each other. I wondered if people would recognize the value of some of them. I hoped people would take good care of them and love them.

Then there were also boxes of donations that had things in them like an outdated 2008 consumer guide book. A fart humor book...yeah, a whole book. A book about golf to be specifically read on the toilet. There were boxes of paperback romances. One box was full of religion and philosophy books....I had a hard time categorizing all those. No matter how long I am around books I am still utterly amazed at how many there are out there in the world and they all seem to be in a constant state of being bought, read, and donated.

I, of course, began wondering what my book collection says about me. I have recently been sorting through my books as my life is changing and I am drastically downsizing. I tried to think about how I decide which books stay and which books move on. I tried to get rid of a stack of Star Wars Jedi  Apprentice books and my children freaked out. They have not opened them in years but they apparently have an intense bond with them.

There are some books I will never part with ;

My book by Irving Stone about Abigail and John Adams called Those Who Love I will never, ever part with.

Mrs. Mike which is a true story all about a girl who marries a Canadian Mountie and moves with him to the far reaches of Canada.

My Tolkien books will never go anywhere.

My favorite book Angle of Repose by Wallace Stegner will most likely be at my funeral :)

The Custom of the Country by Edith Wharton... the dialogue and descriptions in that book being me so much happiness.

Box set of all the James Herriott books about his life as a veterinarian in England....All Creatures Great and Small etc

Anything and everything involving Laura Ingalls Wilder.

Every single one of the Jane Austen's. Who can get though life without all of those on their shelf ? :)

The history books by McCullough and Philbrick will never leave.

I wandered through my bookshelves for awhile today and it appears my collection of books tells you how much I love true stories. I love history. I am a Mormon. I garden. I dabble in finding emotional intelligence. I keep up on what is popular at the moment....Twilight, Hunger Games, Gone, Inkheart series, Harry Potter, Eragon etc.There is a book about how Google came to be. A book about Bob Dole. A lot of the classics....like O'Pioneers, My Antonia and The Chosen.

When I was  kid I spent lots of time perusing my parents books. I particularly remember a small green hard cover book that fascinated me because the paper it was printed on was so thin. I think it was a copy of Tess of the Dubervilles. Every time I babysat for someone when I was a kid I would go through their bookshelves.... right after I checked out their cold cereal :)

Apr 5, 2014

Let It Go......Let It Go.....

Darn that song. Because of it all I seem to think about day and night is letting go....oh yeah, and not holding back anymore and don't forget that the cold never bothered me anyway. Because of this song I can never again plead that I know nothing about the awesomeness of letting go. Everyone is singing it. Everyone is humming it. Everyone is quoting it. Making references to it. No one can help it. We all seem to connect with those lyrics. I imagine everyone thinks the song is for them but I must insist that it truly is for me. I am sure that I am the only person in the world who needs to learn about the necessity of letting things go. All the rest of you seem so good at knowing when to let go. Wait....except leftovers.... I do not ever have a problem letting those go. And clutter...I am very good at letting that go also.

 Just for fun I went to google and you know how you start to type something in and silly google tries to anticipate what you are going to look up? Well I started typing in..."how do you let go..." and guess what google's top five guesses were for what I would want to let go of were?

How do you let go of someone you love?
How do you let go of the past?
How do you let go and let God...?
How do you let go of a relationship?
How do you let go of a sock basket? (Just joking I made that one up :)


But seriously....Google really knows me :) I did not happen to read about any of these things. Because I don't want to let go. It is one of those things you have to do but is really no fun....yeah, I know....need a therapist much? :) I guess I need to google, "how to let go of not wanting to let go" :)

 Letting go is for strong people. Letting go is for people who know what they want. The whole letting go thing never really fit into my life before because "strong" and "knowing what I want" have never been my identifiers. I mean it seriously emotionally scars me when people in movies let things go let alone in real life. I am always thinking to myself.... How could they hurt that other person? Or, wait there has to be a way to make that work? Or, how can they love them and still make the choice to say goodbye and not be together? It never ever made sense to me. Always bewildering. Always traumatic. But that was before. Now there is an after and now I am heading full steam ahead towards strong and I finally know a little bit more...darn it. I recognize why sometimes letting go has to happen. It is still the hardest thing in the world and I am not going to be winning any scholarships in Letting go 101. But I know how to say it is for the best. I know how to recognize toxic. I know how to notice when I do not like who I am in certain situations with certain people and that it is best to kindly ....never in a mean way and never ignoring without explanation.....say, "No more."

Can I tell you how I felt the first time I saw the youtube video of the song Let it Go? I had not even seen the movie yet. How it thrilled me to see Elsa powering up that snowy mountain throwing her gloves and her wrap to the wind. Declaring that the past is in the past. The concealing....not feeling part SO over. Musing about her kingdom of isolation that she looks like she is the queen of. Not caring what people say. Dismissing the fears that once controlled her.....so epic and inspiring.

I need to let go of the past....I have no idea why I keep thinking there is something there.
I need to let go of what I can not change....that is hard when you are a mom and have a child that is immensely struggling and you blame yourself for it.
I need to let go of relationships that will never go anywhere...no progressing just stagnating.
I need to let go of whopper juniors and onion rings.
I need to let go of the notion that I can make you like me and we can all be friends.....come on just give me some time I truly am delightful.
I need to let go of the not doing well in college.
I need to let go of not knowing myself so well in the past.
I need to let go of cheating on Crest with Colgate.

So I am happy to report that I practiced letting go for the first time about a week ago. It took all my courage to do a very difficult thing. It was so so painful. It left me feeling sad and missing but I know it was the right thing to do. I took the first step up to the top of let it go mountain :)

Apr 2, 2014

Cape Flattery Hike

I wish I could remember when I first decided I needed to hike the Cape Flattery Trail in Washington. I have been back to Washington about four times in the past ten years and I think it was when I went back the second time that I happened to read about this little gem. I have always been a little afraid to attempt it on my own. Because it is such a long drive.... and so isolated. I really wanted a friend to go with me I mean long drives and isolation scream, "this is a take a friend trip." But I have not lived in Washington for many, many years and I was never quite sure how to find someone who lived there who needed to see places as much as I do. So each time I went back I would plan to do this drive and hike and then end up never having the courage. This time almost ended up that way too.

But I did a few things differently this time. I map quested the directions before I even left Massachusetts. I looked over them noting that I would need to take a ferry and noting how many hours it would take me. I am most definitely not a fly by the seat of your pants girl. Also, this trip I made sure I kept a whole day free. Which is very hard to do when people want to meet with you and have lunch or dinner and such. All my other days of this trip were broken up with big chunks of visiting and such. And last but not least I had that sure knowledge that I had learned how to face my fears and do things alone.

I confess that by the time the Sunday evening of my trip came I was pretty sure I was going to yet again flake out on my Cape Flattery adventure. There were a million reasons why I should not do it. It was not smart to go all the way out there alone being the first reason every one mentioned to me. So I determined in my mind that I would decide when I saw the weather on Monday morning.

It was a beautiful pacific northwest day. I could not get out into it fast enough. The mountains with snow on them, the greens, the blues, the sky with no clouds were all calling to me. I still had not found all 100 percent my courage so I first headed towards Deception Pass. I ALWAYS go to Deception Pass when I go to Washington. It is very necessary. It is tradition. I was taken there a lot when I was a kid. I have tons of memories of Deception Pass. It has held the favorite bridge spot in my life for many many years. I wish you could all be there with me and see the beauty that stretches in every direction. I hiked around once I got there and took loads of pictures. And just stared at the swirling water and thought. It was so inspiring and so invigorating I quickly and decisively made the decision to head to Neah Bay.

I headed down Whidbey Island to the Port Townsend/ Kingston Ferry. Because of low tide the ferry was not able to run until 11:45 and it already had five semi trucks scheduled to take spots on it. I did not fret. I paid and put my car in line and did the math and decided if I did not get on it was not meant to be. I walked out to the water and walked and walked with my hat and scarf on. So many colors of rocks along the shoreline. Someone had gathered all the driftwood and made a little shelter that was very cool. I called my parents and chatted a bit while I was walking. To make a long story short I was the last car they could fit on the ferry. I was squeezed in so tight I had to go out the passenger side door and squish and squish. The girl in the car next to me had to go out the back of her car. We giggled and giggled about that. I would not have dreamed of staying in the car. The best part of the ferry ride is being as high as you can go and in the front facing the wind......never ever miss that :)

Once I got off in Port Townsend I felt a small longing to walk around Port Townsend they do have some spectacular shopping and eating but I kept focused. I decided no matter how much I wanted to stop on the remaining three hours of my drive I would not stop. Even when I passed a pretty awesome bird store. Even when I passed food. Even when I passed a movie theater playing Divergent....which I have not seen yet. I powered across the Olympic Peninsula....not to be distracted from my goal. The road got smaller and less traveled and very very windy...not like wind but like curvy :) I had a few moments where I realized how long it had been since I had seen a house, or a store, or another car, but I swallowed and kept going. I started to catch glimpses of the Straight of Juan de Fuca. Which runs between the top of Washington and Vancouver Island, Canada. Sometimes the road ran right along the edge of the water. There were constant signs telling me to watch for mudslides on the road, curves, and rough roads.I passed through a few small, run down towns. I kept going. I finally made it to the Makah Indian Reservation. The Cape Flattery Trail is on their land. I love that part when you think you are there but you are not. It was another 5 miles past the town of Neah Bay to the trail head.

It was 3:05 when I stepped out of my car with overwhelming relief. It was much later than I had ever imagined it would be. But there was nothing I could have done about the low tide way back at the ferry...or was there something I could have done? :) I tried really hard not to even think about the long ride home in which I would need to catch another ferry in time to get back to the mainland. There were three cars in the parking lot and I was relieved I would not be alone. I grabbed my camera, my hat, and scarf and headed down the trail at a brisk pace. All the memories of the words of all the people who warned me not to go on a hike alone were swirling around me and I hoped they would say nice things about me at my funeral. I passed two groups of people coming out. Drat, that meant there was only one other group on the trail with me. The trail was well maintained. There were boardwalks in places where there was a potential for mud. The woods were so pretty. I tried not to think about crunches and creaks and cracks that I kept hearing in those pretty woods. And just kept hiking. I was not going to quit this close to the end. If you look at a map you can see that Neah Bay is not to far north of Forks, Washington and LaPush Beach where all the werewolves and vampires in the Twilight books live. Yeah, active imagination much? :)

I had some notion that I would be hiking down to a beach. I pictured myself sitting on that beach at the Northwestern most point in the contiguous United States thinking about life. Why oh why is the end of the trail never what we imagined? :) I ended up on top of rocks way up high no beach in sight. Just huge rocks with water crashing into them...all around. It was a lookout point. IT was breathtaking. Cape Flattery was named by James Cook on March 22, 1778. He wrote, "there appeared to be a small opening which flattered us with the hopes of finding a harbour...on this account I called the point of land to the north of it Cape Flattery." I climbed up the platform. And in front of me across the way was a small island with a lighthouse on it. Farther out was Vancouver Island...Canada. Yeah, my phone was not happy about that and kept warning me about roaming charges that would take my first born. The Pacific Ocean was mingling with the Straight of Juan de Fuca. There were sea stacks. There was lots and lots of water. I concentrated hard hoping to see whale. I could not have asked for a more beautiful day to have had this adventure. I wanted to stay there forever. But my airplane leaving early the next day would hear nothing of it. I am so glad I faced numerous fears and made this trip. I now do not have to wonder what it is like and how it would have happened. I know.