Jul 24, 2014

Do You See What I See?

My eyes are brown. What color are yours? I have two of them...yes, I know, the chances are really good that you do to :) Mine know how to read, and read, and read. They know how to appreciate views. They sometimes prefer to look away rather than to notice something. They love it if you happen to notice them and decide to look into them when you are talking.They have seen both the Atlantic and the Pacific Ocean and almost everything in between. They are dying to see Alaska. Okay and Prince Edward Island.

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about eyes. My eyes have had a fairly uneventful life. No one has ever told me they are remarkable. I am pretty sure that they are not the feature people use to identify me :) They are just there.

Once when I was in high school I was using my curling iron to curl my bangs, that just so happened to cover my entire 1980's forehead, and for some reason my curling iron slipped out of my hand and touched the inside of my eye.....weird...freak accident....so painful.... I did panic a little bit...but all is well that ends well and I recovered. The only glitch it caused was that I was not able to play the piano that evening for an event I had committed to.

My right eye has been a little onery the last few months very, very itchy, watery, not entirely happy, and it has made me realize that my eyes have always been happy and have dutifully worked complaint free for me. I should probably do something to show appreciation to them. Eye Appreciation Day Anyone? :) Up until just a few months ago I have had contact free, glasses free, allergy free, squint free eyes but now I am the skeptical owner of some prescription reading glasses because one day I noticed I was doing that "squinty" thing when looking at small print on food labels. Getting used to wearing glasses is SO weird. I do not know how the people who wear glasses deal with this constant border around their world. Just so you know I am complaining about just wearing them to read....silly me.

 Speaking of glasses I also acquired some very nice, designer, free sunglasses about four years ago from dear Kristy and I am trying so hard to believe in them. I really hate trying to chat with someone who is wearing sunglasses. I want to see your eyes. They tell me so much. I also need to see the world clearly and sunglasses give the world a bit of a tint. I will be driving down the road all proud of myself because I am wearing my sunglasses and liking it and then I will take them off and think to myself "oh wait everything I just saw with these sunglasses on was not true :)"

I am very careful about what my eyes watch. I have been known to watch movies with my eyes covered. Violence, blood. and icky-ness I just can not do. I have always been this way. I discovered it when I was little and I ended up watching the Disney movie called The Black Hole and let me tell you I could not sleep the whole night because of what I saw :) Yeah, I know, The Black Hole?

It is a little frustrating that what I see with my eyes is determined by my life and not yours. I spend way too much time wondering what you see. I love other people's views. I hate that I recognize that what I see may not always be right. I hate when I think I see something and then realize I didn't. I hate when I see something and I DESPERATELY want you to see it too but no matter how many times I tell you to look for the guy in the red striped shirt and then count four people over and then look diagonally up from that fourth guy you still can not see what I see and I can't make you. How many times have you seen something and exclaimed to someone, "did you see that?" And if they did not see it then the opportunity for a connection and the bonding moment are long gone.

I am so glad that I had a couple good friends with me a few years ago when I saw those girls in New York City wearing only bubble wrap wrapped around them like a mini dress with high heels on their feet and of course a belt....yes, any color belt will match bubble wrap :) It would have been so sad to not have someone actually see that with you. I mean I can tell you about it using the very best words possible but it is not the same as seeing it......even if I took a picture you still would not hear the sounds I was hearing and smell the smells I was smelling. And I will forever have that bond with those friends.

Maybe that is why I hate doing things alone because if you see something awesome or unusual when you are alone you miss an opportunity to create a bond with someone. If I see it and you are with me we are forever and ever friends. And when we get together we can reminisce about that moment we saw together :) Good Times!!!

I am so glad I woke my kids early one Saturday (sleep in day) a few weeks ago to see the big bear in our backyard. Yes, I could have just told them about it but seeing is way better.

Through a weird twist of life events my mother ended up in the delivery room when I had my first baby. Her very first grandchild. She got to SEE Zach being born. She delivered six kids of her own but she said seeing it was so amazing. And she is so glad she got to have a chance to see it. And I am glad she did too.

Tonight I dragged the kids out with me on the porch to watch a storm that was brewing. I love how when someone is seeing something with you often you do not need words. You can sit and just see together.

I hate how there are some times that no matter how I stomp my foot, throw a tantrum, plead, offer you chocolate, and beg you just are not going to see what I see.

What about if I know you saw what I saw but you won't admit it? AARRRGHH that always makes me sad, sad, sad. Why are we sometimes afraid to acknowledge what we saw? Like when you know you saw your sister steal some chocolate chips but she won't admit it.

So why all this chatting about eyes and seeing that is really going nowhere? Well, you know me, I have always loved chatting about views and seeing things....you surely know that. But so many of my views are changing right now. I am seeing things in such a different way in every single area of my life. From my bowl of cereal I have every single morning to a best friend I have had for over thirty years. Even New York City seemed different last Saturday.

So here's to seeing as complicated as it is I do adore it :)


Anonymous said...

For some reason I could totally HEAR you, in your voice...in my head , talking to me ....for this blog. Hmmmm....warm fuzzies from a former geekie 6th grade glass wearer, then excited high school contact wearer, now reluctant 46 year old reader wearer....

Emsie R said...

I love your blog! This post is so original and funny :)