Jul 16, 2014

Love Languages.

So recently I had a conversation with some friends about the book The Five Love Languages. A long long time ago in a galaxy far far away someone gave me a copy of this book. I must tell you... I flipped through it but I never actually read it. It sat on my shelf for many many years until I gave it to the Salvation Army. I am not sure what my issue was with The Five Love Languages. But I definitely had one.

Maybe I was afraid I would discover what my language was but I would not be able to convince anyone it was mine and that it would be beneficial to them to speak it?

Maybe I was afraid that I would be all five of the love languages?

Maybe I am a little afraid of categories and being stuck in them?

I am not really sure but I know I never read it. Have you?

The conversation I participated in on the Fourth of July made me wonder about this book. These people I was talking to really believed in this book. It helped their relationships.Their words made me wonder so much that I did a crazy thing and placed a hold on the book at the library. I am still waiting for it to come so I still can not give a fair assessment of the book. But did that ever stop me from wondering about it and blogging about it? :)

Do we really all speak a love language? Do we really need love shown to us a certain way? Does it have to be so complicated that I need this book? If you find someone who knows your love language and is willing to speak it does it mean everything will be perfect forever and ever? What if you can not figure out your love language? Is there a Love Languages for Dummies book? :) Do you think my love language is wondering and asking questions? :) I finally just googled "what are the five love languages?" and I procured the list for you in case you did not know.....physical touch, gifts, acts of service, words of affirmation and quality time.

 I know without even reading the book that my love language is not gifts. That will not show me that you love me. Even if you buy me something you are sure I will like. Even if you buy me something I specifically said I wanted. I really do think that my love language might be all of the other four languages at the same time.....and that scares me a little. Who would ever want to hang out with someone who had four love languages ? :) Maybe if that ends up being the case the circus would want me. I could sit in a tent and people could file by and look at me......the woman with four love languages...freak of nature :)

So in the middle of writing this very blog it just occurred to me that there is probably a place on the internet where I can take a test that will tell me what my love language is so I can finally get some sleep :) Hang on just a minute.....let me check....hey, I was right. So I took the test and guess what? I am only two languages at the same time not all four. My top two were tied at acts of service and quality time. So acts of service  means if you do my dishes without being asked I will probably think you love me :) Quality time means if you call me and tell me you want to spend time with me and then you actually do sacrifice some precious time and make me a priority in your busy life I will naturally assume you love me. I was not surprised that these two were my love languages. Actions always have spoken louder than words for every single minute of my life so far. And quality time means undivided attention....I have not had that happen much in my life but I will never ever forget the few times it has happened....I was over the moon.

I get the idea that my top love languages translate into how I attempt to show love to you. Which is maybe why we fail sometimes at showing love becuase we are showing it the way we like it not the way the other person likes it.

The big surprise to me was that gift giving was not last out of my five love languages.....gulp...physical touch was.....everyone who has ever been around me knows I am not a give or take hugs kind of girl. Everyone who attempts to give me a hug laughs merrily as they give it to me knowing I hate them :) So I can not understand why physical touch is last :)

I am still not sure if I believe in love languages. Maybe if I knew what it felt like to have someone consistently speak mine I would believe? But it is an interesting thing to think about. That we all show our love differently and need love shown to us in a certain way. I wonder what makes our love language? Are we born with it? Can it change? Like if I really want physical touch to be my number one instead of my number five can I change it?

I guess first things should come first and I should read the book and then analyze and ask questions and pass my judgement on the book :)

It has been fascinating to find myself realizing what my kids love languages are and what my friends love languages are and even some of my siblings. Not my chickens though....I can not figure out what their love language is.

I do love knowing how to really show someone that I love them. Have you ever felt your heart just overflowing with love for someone for something they did for you and you want to show them how much you love them right back? And you wonder and wonder what could I do? I suppose knowing their love language could help :)

So if you are bored right now.....well not exactly right now because that would mean my blog is boring but in a minute when you are bored again you should google "how to find out what my love language is". There is a main website and right there in front and on top of the page is an option to take the test to "reveal" your love language. You should do it just so when you are hanging out on the fourth of July you can knowingly join the conversation about love languages :)

And I am going to go read the book and see what I can learn from it. And then most likely blog about it because maybe my love language is blogging :)

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