Dec 5, 2014

Two Roads Diverged.

I got to teach a lesson in church a few weeks ago about how to make decisions. I thought it sounded like a pretty harmless topic but the more I read and studied for this lesson the more I swung between resolve and discouragement. How did I manage to miss the instructions on how to make good decisions? It would have made my life so different if I understood how to make a good decision. Not necessarily a better life just a different one.

How many times have you heard that Robert Frost poem about two roads diverging in the yellow woods and how taking the one less traveled, how that made all the difference? Yeah, almost every time I have found myself standing in that darn yellow woods I have chosen the wrong road. As I made pages of notes for this lesson on how to teach these darling 14-18 year old kids in my class how to make good decisions I have been squirming with the realization that I have rarely followed these steps.

From ninth grade to about 30 years old we are making some of the most important decisions of our lives. Who we are going to marry. What career we want. What school to go to. Whether to get good grades or not. Who to date. Decisions that seriously determine our lives. I was so young when I made all these decisions. So not aware of who I was.

You can't go back ....duh....I know this. So I am trying not to bellyache too much over what is done and gone. And I have this very rare opportunity to make some decisions again and the part that is killing me is that I am not totally sure I am yet capable of making good decisions. I know me a lot better. I know the best way to make decisions but can I put it all into action? Do I have the discipline? The self control? The focus? And most important the perspective? Oh and what about that constant struggle between what your heart wants and what your head knows? Sometimes I want to give up. The struggle does not appear on my outside unless you pay close attention to me but I am just going to be dramatic and say it is epic and the ending....yeah, who knows :)


Anonymous said...

My question for thought is this: If a decision ends up in things not working out perfectly, then was it necessarily wrong? In my opinion, the answer is no. I think that every important decision we make leads to more decisions...adjustments if you will, whether they be major or minor. But for me it is too depressing to think of past life decisions as "wrong." Some of the best growth and learning occurs when things don't go as we hoped or planned. It seems counterproductive to evaluate past decisions as right or wrong based on present information, as things are always more clear in hindsight. And present decisions can be debilitating if we worry too much about a future that we can't see and very often can't control. We do the best we can with the information we have at the time and go from there. That's why forgiveness of ourselves and others is such an important thing. :)

Betty's Reflections said...

I too struggle with making the best decisions. Sometimes I think we need to take focus on what our heart and head are trying to tell us. I look back on all you have decided on this past year and the beautiful journeys you have had along with much learning. I have confidence in you Jennifer.

Jennifer said...

oh drat "debilitating" and "counterproductive" and "depressing" are all such good friends of mine :) Nevertheless anonymous....thank you for the most perfectly said reminder. I have just recently learned that all you wrote is SO true I just have a hard time remembering it and retraining my brain that reguarly resists retraining :) I do have some weird longing to make just one good decision just so I can say I have :) I know that would be boring but I still have secret desire to do it :) Does deciding to brush my teeth count? :)