I got to teach a lesson in church a few weeks ago about how to make decisions. I thought it sounded like a pretty harmless topic but the more I read and studied for this lesson the more I swung between resolve and discouragement. How did I manage to miss the instructions on how to make good decisions? It would have made my life so different if I understood how to make a good decision. Not necessarily a better life just a different one.
How many times have you heard that Robert Frost poem about two roads diverging in the yellow woods and how taking the one less traveled, how that made all the difference? Yeah, almost every time I have found myself standing in that darn yellow woods I have chosen the wrong road. As I made pages of notes for this lesson on how to teach these darling 14-18 year old kids in my class how to make good decisions I have been squirming with the realization that I have rarely followed these steps.
From ninth grade to about 30 years old we are making some of the most important decisions of our lives. Who we are going to marry. What career we want. What school to go to. Whether to get good grades or not. Who to date. Decisions that seriously determine our lives. I was so young when I made all these decisions. So not aware of who I was.
You can't go back ....duh....I know this. So I am trying not to bellyache too much over what is done and gone. And I have this very rare opportunity to make some decisions again and the part that is killing me is that I am not totally sure I am yet capable of making good decisions. I know me a lot better. I know the best way to make decisions but can I put it all into action? Do I have the discipline? The self control? The focus? And most important the perspective? Oh and what about that constant struggle between what your heart wants and what your head knows? Sometimes I want to give up. The struggle does not appear on my outside unless you pay close attention to me but I am just going to be dramatic and say it is epic and the ending....yeah, who knows :)